ten.
"Lauren!" I heard Normani call me from the kitchen. I finished washing up, I put my hair in a ponytail, and went downstairs to see the dark haired girl behind the stove. "I made breakfast." She smiled, placing a plate of waffles in front of me.
I smiled at the food then looked back at her. "What?" She questioned.
"I'm a pancake person." I grimaced. She gave me a look and rolled her eyes. "But I'll be a waffle person for you." I winked, cutting up the waffle.
"You're drink water all day today," she told me, placing a cold glass of water in front of me. I looked up at her noticing that she was drinking coffee. I pouted and she shrugged, turning her back to me. "Doctor's orders." She added on.
I sipped the water, and ate. Her cooking was really good, especially since I noticed she burnt the first waffle she made, but I won't mention it to her.
"Hurry up and eat, we have a big day today." She instructed, rubbing my back.
I pouted and sighed. "I don't want to go to the studio today. I just need a break from everything." I whined.
"We aren't going to the studio silly," she chuckled. I arched my brow, giving a questioning look at her. "I'm not telling you what we're doing." She winked.
I sighed annoyedly and noticed that a bag had been at the front door. "What's in that?" I asked, pointing at the luggage.
"You're clothes." She smiled. "Now, I'll be back." She said, running up the stairs.
I hurried and ate, since I was anxious to see what she was up to. She had been acting very suspicious this morning, and I really want to figure out why. The whole time, she had a smirk on her face.
"I'm done." I told her, standing in her doorway, watching as she zipped up her bag. "What's going on?" I asked.
"Let's go." She said, waving her hand.
I followed her down the stairs and to her car. We threw our bags in the trunk and got in the car. We drove the opposite way of the city and up more towards Northern California. The whole ride, we listened to throwback jams and old Broadway songs as well as Disney songs.
I looked out the window and noticed the familiar spot. "Hey, wait." I said, tapping on her. She looked in my direction, and slowed the car down. "This is where she is." I said softly, remembering the day.
"Do you want me to stop?" She asked. I nodded and she pulled into the cemetery.
"She's not to far, just turn here." I instructed her.
Once she got close enough, I got out the car and walked over to where Camila's grave had been. It had been awhile, but I need to.
I stood in front of her tombstone, and read it. Remembering my speech and placing a picture of us onto of her casket.
"Hey," I started, shoving my hands in my pocket. "It's been awhile." I said. "Last night, last night was terrible. I'm sorry. I was hurting, and I couldn't handle anything. Ever since you've been gone, I've been going downhill. I know you don't want this for me, and I'm sorry. I could apologize a million times to you. But, I'm going to change. I'm getting there." I started, wiping the tear that was falling down my cheek. "I met this fan, I remember her name now, it was Dakota. She was at one of my album signings. I gave her a necklace to help her get through her problems, and she recently gave it back, to help me get through my problems." I mentioned, thinking about her words. "She really touched me, so I'm going to change. I'm going to do it. I should be happy, and I need to be happy, for you." I paused. "I haven't been happy for a while, ever since the incident. But I'm going to work on it. For you." I smiled. "I didn't bring flowers, I didn't know I was coming up here, but next time, I will. I'll bring your favorite." I laughed. "But, I love you and miss you." I said, smiling sadly and wiping my tear once again.
My fingertips ran lightly across her tombstone, and I kissed my fingertips and placed them on the tombstone.
I got back in the car, and looked at her tombstone. Normani placed her hand on my shoulder and I turned and smiled at her. "I'm going to change. I'm going to do it." I smiled. "She wants me too, and I have too."
Normani smiled. "She wants you happy, Lo."
"I know." I smiled. "And I want to be happy again. Today's is the start. Start of a new chapter."
"Good." Normani smiled widely.
I'm going to change. I really am. This time, I'm for real, not lying to myself. I going to find who I actually am, and be happy again. Especially since what Dakota told me.
I can do this.
We got an airport, and I followed Normani inside. I furrowed my brows, constantly getting bumped into, while I was trying to keep an eye on Normani. She got up to check in, and didn't say anything to the lady, just gave her a look.
I followed Normani around the whole airport asking her where she was taking me. She didn't tell me anything at all. For all I know, she could be taking me off to a deserted island and leaving me there.
"Why are we on this plane? Why did we travel all the way to Northern California to go the airport when we weren't too far from LAX?" I asked in a panicked tone.
She shrugged and placed her finger over her mouth, telling me to be quiet and pointed to the flight attendant. "So, are you guys ready to go to Hawaii?" She asked.
My eyes widened and I looked at Normani. She shrugged her shoulder and she had a smirk on her lips.
"Why did we come all the way to this airport?" I asked.
"Because LAX is bombarded with paparazzi, and this one is very secluded. No one really knows about it. But today just happened to be very packed." She laughed.
"Why are you taking me to Hawaii?"
"To have you relax and take a glimpse at life outside of what you see. To see the actual meaning of life."
I smiled at her and she reciprocated. She went out of her way and planned this trip. I was very appreciated by what she did, and as well as shocked. I haven't been to Hawaii for a while. When I was wrong I went, but my mom left the trip since she got made.
We landed and a driver had been waiting for us. He played calming music as we drove, and I looked at the tall, green trees, as well as the beautiful landscape. I admired the scenery and pulled out my phone, and took a couple pictures.
Where we had been staying had been secluded from the city, but not to far, probably about fifteen minutes away. Our hotel room was on the fifth floor and it over looked Hawaii. We had a perfect view of the beach, since we were technically right on it, and the sunset was setting right in front of us.
"Wow." I mouthed, looking at the pink and blue sky and the Suns colors looked pleasing with the two colors.
"Cmon, let's go catch it!" Normani said, tugging on my wrist and pulling on me. We rushed down to the beach, and we went to an area where no one was really at and we sat in the sand and watched the sunset.
We didn't have an awkward silence. We were just appreciating the sunset. It was so pleasing to watch, and so relaxing, hearing the water crash against the rocks, and the breeze of cool air flowing through my hair.
I jumped a bit once Normani rested her head on my shoulder. I smiled, and rested my head atop of hers, and we continued to watch the sunset quietly.
It just so happened we feel asleep, and once a cold breeze ran across my skin, I immediately woke up. "Mani, let's go back to the room." I told her, sitting up.
"Not now, I'm kinda hungry. There's this restaurant in the hotel, it's really good. We have the choice to eat outside and watch a performance or eat inside and listen to karaoke." She stated, sitting up.
She helped me up, and we walked to the hotel and changed our clothes. We went to dinner and the waiter led us to our table.
He smiled at me and I waved at him. "My daughter is a huge fan." He said.
I nodded and smiled. "Tell her I said hi."
"Oh, I will." He laughed. "What would you guys like?" He asked, pulling out his pad of paper.
"I told Milika already," Normani mumbled. "She knows we're here."
"Oh, oh!" He said reassuringly. "Never mind then, have fun." He smiled, walking away.
I looked at Normani questioningly, and she looked away smirking. "What it up your sleeve?" I asked.
"Nothing."
"You're planning something, but I'll figure it out sooner or later." I said, winking at her.
"Sure you will." She said, reciprocating my wink. "Anyways, how are you feeling? Are you relaxed?" She asked concernedly.
"Yeah, I'm actually having a good time. This is the first time in forever." I mentioned truthfully.
"What about the time we went to the fair?"
"That was fun, but I had a lot on my mind that day. So I wasn't relaxed." I stated.
"Hopefully after this trip, you'll feel a bit more relaxed." Normani commented. "I hope you do."
"I hope so too. How long are we going to be here for?" I asked.
"Not that long, a couple days." She answered.
The waiter had came back with our food, and placed it in front of us. "It's the family special. No one knows about it, just Mani. I promise, you won't regret it." The waiter winked.
I looked at the sizzling food, and the smell was amazing. My eyes widened at the looks of it, and I wanted to dig right in. I grabbed my fork, and grabbed a piece of the chicken, and took a bit, burning my tongue.
"Shit!" I cursed, spitting the food out. "That was really hot!" I said, drinking my glass of water.
"Well, I mean, it does have steam coming out, so I thought you'd be aware." Normani said, laughing at me.
"I'm hungry, what do you expect?" I said, holding my tongue out.
"For you to be smart." She laughed, sipping her drink and grabbing a piece of bread.
I rolled my eyes and mimicked her as she laughed. I tried hold my grin back, but I couldn't help myself.
The food was amazing. I never tasted something so amazing. If I could, I would eat this for the rest of my life. I'm pretty sure once I finished eating, I was sad that I was all out.
"I'm going to go talk to the manager, I'll be back," Normani told me, leaving the table.
I nodded and watched her walk up to the kitchen and hug the manager. They went into this room and talked as I stayed and watched the people sing for karaoke.
The person that was up, was singing Don't Stop Believing, and I'm pretty sure I heard that song ten times today.
I watched as he exited the stage, and a tall, blondish headed girl walked on stage. She fixed her hair, and everyone clapped and cheered for her. She must be familiar at this restaurant.
She had a really calm voice, telling people hello, and the person that sang before her good job.
The music began to play, and I was definitely not expecting her to be a powerhouse vocalist. She sang I'd Rather Go Blind and I'm pretty sure my whole body was cover in chills. Her voice was amazing!
When she finished, I stood up, and clapped, and she looked in my direction and smiled.
"What are you doing?" Normani laughed, sitting back down.
"Did you hear her?!" I asked, in shock still.
"Oh yeah, she's crazy talented." Normani mentioned, placing two desserts in a bag. "I could listen to her sing everyday."
"Seriously!" I agreed.
The singer came up to the table and Normani jumped up, and wrapped her arms around her. "Dinah!" She cried, pulling away from the hug. "I missed you!"
"I missed you too Mani!" She reciprocated. "How've you been?" She asked.
"Busy," she chuckled, rubbing her palms against her shorts. "By the way, this is Lauren, Lauren this is Dinah." She introduced us.
Dinah waved shyly and I smiled. "You must be the fan the waiter was talking about." I assumed, noticing how her body language was.
"She's a hug fan," the waiter said coming back, tapping her on her back.
Dinah rolled her eyes. "He means my sister, she's over there playing with her friends. Not like I'm not a fan, psh." She said, waving her hand dismissively.
Normani arched her brow and crossed her hands over her chest. "Last time I checked, you cried when she tweeted–"
"Shut the hell up," she said, between her teeth. "Anyways," she smiled, turning back to me. "It's a pleasure having you here. You're an amazing artist." She complimented me.
"Your voice is amazing. I was in shock, I got the chills. You should be a singer!" I suggested.
She laughed. "I am, only here in Hawaii though. I'm pretty well known I guess." She shrugged.
"You deserve to be known all across the world with that type of voice," I claimed sipping on my drink. "How long have you been singing for?"
"Since I was a kid. My mom sang a lot so I wanted to sing too." She told us, shrugging her shoulders. "Speaking of singing, remember when we were kids Mani, and we'd always have those singing nights with bonfires?"
Normani nodded her head as she sipped her drink.
"We're having one tonight and I was wondering if you guys wanted to join us? I mean, if you don't have any plans." She stated.
Me and Normani exchanged looks and looked back at the Polynesian. "We were just going back to the hotel, but that sounds like a good idea." Normani smiled.
Dinah cheered and had a big smile across her face. "Cool, well it starts in a little bit, and I think my parents already left so I'll see you guys in a few!" She said, walking backwards.
We smiled at her and started to leave as well. I wrapped my arm around Normani's shoulders and looked at her. Her eyes widened when she felt my touch and she turned and looked at me. "You know, I'm really excited about this trip. Thank you." I smiled appreciatively.
"Anything to make you happy." She reciprocated.
-
We got to Dinah's house and it was a beautiful one. It was on a hill, and it was a very quiet, quaint place. When you got to the door, you could hear the music that was being played and it made me very excited.
"That was quicker than I expected," Dinah joked once she opened the door. Normani pushed her out the way and she laughed. "Last time you stopped by you were late like a hour!"
"That's because I got lost!"
"I live fifteen minutes away..." Dinah pointed out. I waited for Normani to respond and she pulled me by my wrist leading me to the backyard where Dinah's family was. "Whoa, are you two?" She paused.
I turned around quickly and shook my head. "No, we're not dating." I mentioned.
"Sheesh, no need for the aggression." Dinah told me, holding her hands up.
"I didn't mean to be, I'm sorry." I grimaced. She smiled and opened the sliding glass door for us and we saw her family sitting around a bonfire, a few with guitars, some singing, and some hitting there thighs as they were drums.
"Normani!!" The little ones cheered, getting up and running up to her, flinging their arms around her legs.
"You guys are so big now! The last time I saw you, most of you were in diapers!" She laughed.
I stayed to the side and watched as they all talked to Normani and it was so adorable to see. She kneeled down on her knees and talked to them. They all laughed at whatever she said, and she gave them all hugs before standing back up.
Normani went over to the circle and sat down. She talked to the older members of the family and about how they used to play hide and seek when they were younger. She noticed how I wasn't sitting next to her and she motioned me over to her.
Dinah grabbed me and lead me over to the circle. "No need to be shy, it's all love here." She told me quietly.
I smiled at her words and sat down between her and Normani. Her family smiled at me and I introduced myself to them.
"We know who you are!" Dinah's mom said, her cousin nodding in agreement.
"Dinah is obsessed with you," her cousin mentioned.
"Shut up! Damn!" She sighed, rolling her eyes.
"It's true." Her brother interjected.
Everyone laughed at Dinah's reaction and I nudged her and smiled, showing her that I didn't care and I was more so flattered by it.
"Can we just start singing?" Dinah asked.
They laughed and the guitar started playing. The song that they first chose was a traditional song, and me and Normanj listened to them. All of their voices were amazing and it was so relaxing. Hearing the crackle of the wood from the fire, the guitar, and how soothing their voices were. It was so peaceful.
"Don't be shy Lauren," Dinah told me later on into the session.
I smiled and licked my lips, preparing myself to sing along with them. "You got this mama," Normani said, squeezing my knee.
So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin' me closer
'Til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone
Wait for me to come home
I opened my eyes, looking at everyone, wondering if that was okay since I was trying to sing the same way they were. They clapped and Normani nudge me to keep going on.
Loving can heal
Loving can mend your soul
And it's the only thing that I know (know)
I swear it will get easier
Remember that with every piece of ya
And it's the only thing we take with us when we die
We keep this love in this photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Our hearts were never broken
Times forever frozen still
We did more songs, and I got a little more comfortable. I sang along with Dinah and Normani, and everyone else got quiet. We paused and looked at everyone to noticed what happened.
"Why'd you all stop singing?" Dinah asked.
"You guys sound really good together." Dinah's mom said.
We smiled at them and back at each other.
"Guys it getting late, and really cold, I think we should go in." Dinah's dad stated. Everyone got up and made their way into the house. Dinah led us to her room, and we stayed for awhile.
"So, I heard you're dating Zayn," Dinah started, plopping down on her bed.
"Was," I corrected her. "He cheated on me, and I dumped him."
"He did the same to me." Dinah stated, shaking her head.
"Wait," I paused, looking at Mani. "She's the one you were telling me about?" Normani nodded and I looked back at Dinah. "He cheated, on you? As beautiful as you are?"
She nodded. "He's a fuckboy."
"You can say that again."
"Almost ever girl knows about him, well the ones he's dated." She mentioned.
"But his fiancé doesn't know about it?" Normani chimed in.
"I highly doubt it. She doesn't have time for him. I talked to her once." She informed us. "She said whenever Zayn leaves, that's when she goes to like Europe and other countries."
"What does she do?"
"She's like one of those adventurous people." Dinah said waving her hand dismissively. "I don't pay attention enough to know." She added on.
"So, Zayn plays girls?" I asked, arching my brow.
Dinah nodded. "I tried telling her, but she wouldn't listen to me." Normani stated.
"Plays everyone but his adventurous girlfriend, well soon to be wife." Dinah said. "I'm glad I'm over him."
"Me too. I just want to be settled. I haven't found the right person, but they'll come along sooner or later." I smiled sadly and shrugged, pausing afterwards to think to myself for a while. "I think I'm just going to hold off on that though, give myself time to change." I mentioned.
I looked up at the two girls and they smiled. "Focus on you boo," Normani said, rubbing my shoulder.
"I really want to get this album done with but I want it to be good. Not forced. You know?" I stated.
"Yup," Dinah answered, adjusting herself on her bed. "Happened to me once and what I recorded was really terrible. I gave myself sometime, and eventually I got it down."
"Don't rush it, it'll eventually come to you. Just like how Dinah said." Normani advised. I smiled at her words and she reciprocated, adding along a small chuckle.
"What's so funny?" I asked her.
She shook her head, "you look five when you smile like that."
I raised my brows, "I'll just take that as a compliment then."
Normani looked at the time on her phone and told Dinah we had to leave. I pouted and asked to stay longer but she mentioned we had a big day tomorrow. Dinah tried to convince her to stay, but she didn't fall for it.
"I'll see you later. Maybe before we leave, we'll stop bye." She winked.
Dinah rolled her eyes, "you better."
Dinah's mom came and moved Dinah from the door. "Before you leave, take this home. I know how much you love it."
Normani's eyes widened at the Polynesian food and she took the small contain. "Thank you Milika." She smiled.
Milika smiled and wrapped her arms around Normani. "Be safe and don't forget to call us!" She said, releasing from the hug.
"I won't! I'll remember to call when we get home." Normani told them.
"Nice meeting you Lauren!" She said hugging me as well. "This was Dinah's dream come true." She laughed, and Dinah made a face of annoyance. "See you guys later!" She said, walking back into the house.
Dinah rolled her eyes, and waved bye to us before we got into the car.
I loved her family. They were very welcoming and it felt very much like home, but how I would imagine home. Singing with family, laughing, and having a good time. That's how I pictured it when I was little, but unfortunately I didn't get that.
-
"Lauren!" Camila called me.
I moved from my laptop and threw my earphones off. "What!" I said fanatically. The brunette came running towards me with a smile on her face, and I sighed. "You scared the shit out of me!" I mentioned, sitting back down in the chair.
"Sorry," she laughed. "Look at what I just wrote!" She said shaking the paper.
"I would love too, but you're kind of shaking it, I can't see it." I joked. She rolled her eyes, and placed the paper down in front of me.
"Wildest Dreams," I arched my brow and looked up at her. "Is it about fairies and unicorns? Basically your dreams?" I joked, making a reference about her dream she told me this morning.
"Shut up and just read it."
I laughed and looked back at the paper.
You see me in hindsight
Tangled up with you all night
Burnin' it down
Some day when you leave me
I bet these memories follow you around
You see me in hindsight
Tangled up with you all night
Burnin' it down
Some day when you leave me
I bet these memories follow you around
Say you'll remember me
Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe
Red lips and rosy cheeks
Say you'll see me again even if it's just pretend
Say you'll remember me
Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset babe
Red lips and rosy cheeks
Say you'll see me again even if it's just in your wildest dreams
In your wildest dreams
Even if it's just in your wildest dreams
In your wildest dreams
I looked back up at Camila, "you wrote this?" I asked in shock. She nodded excitedly. "Babe, this is amazing! This is your first time writing! Is that what you were doing in there the whole time?"
"Yeah," she smiled. "I wanted to make you proud."
"You did," I smiled widely. I got up from the chair and wrapped my arms around her, hugging her tightly.
"You inspired me to write this," she stated.
"Are you going to make it a song?" I asked curiously.
"I don't think so, it was just for fun." She shrugged.
"Doesn't matter, it's still good." I smiled, kissing her on the cheek.