three.
I scrolled through Google News, and read all the drama the media had been talking about me lately. I've read so many false statements and they were absolutely outrageous. I came across something that said Scooter was thinking about replacing me with a new artist, but I remember that interview and he actually said he was thinking about adding a new artist to add to the label.
Even though it was fake, maybe he did want to replace me. Maybe he wants to replace me since I haven't been doing anything, and maybe Normani will be my replacement.
There was also something along the lines saying that I've changed. The article wasn't a lie though. It had shown my differences from when I was first becoming an artist to now. At the end of it, I read the comments, and it was probably the most hurtful things I've read in my life. Many of them were fans of mine saying how disappointed they were and the others were just people that had no hope in me at all, saying they'd knew this would happen to me.
"I thought this was a reason why you deleted all your social media, so you didn't read the hate comments." A voice said behind me.
I turned around and noticed Scooter walking in. "This shit is going to make you worse, Lauren." He explained, sitting down next to me.
"There's so many skits and jokes about me, it's crazy." I continued to scroll down my Google, reading all the terrible headlines. There was a silence between me and Scooter and we both read the headlines. As I got further down, I began to get annoyed, reading everything that wasn't true. "I don't fucking care anymore." I cursed, shutting my laptop.
"Normani is downstairs," Scooter told me, I furrowed my brows confused to why she didn't just come up with him. "She wanted your permission before she came in." He answered.
"Why didn't she just come in?" I asked.
"If you haven't noticed, you give off a very intimidating vibe nowadays." Scooter announced getting up from his seat.
"I'm not fucking intimidating." I mumbled.
A few moments later, Normani had came into my apartment as well as Scooter. I greeted Normani with a wave, and she stood by the door, awkwardly, not knowing whether to sit down or not.
"You can sit down, it doesn't matter where." I chuckled, pulling out a cigarette as I lit it.
Scooter reached for the box, pull I snatched it away. "Remember, I can do whatever I want, my house." I winked at him.
He rolled his eyes, and took a sit at the table. Normani let out a quiet laugh, and I motioned her over to the table with us.
"Business talk, just for a minute," Scooter told us, shifting his eyes between us. "How's the album coming along?"
"Really well, we've written probably like," Normani paused, looking up at the ceiling thinking of how many songs we written. "Ten or twelve songs." She nodded confidently.
"Lauren's been helping you right?" He asked her.
I gave him a look, offended somewhat since he thinks I don't want to help. Normani laughed and nodded. "She's been very helpful."
"Good." He smiled looking at me. "Now, have you guys hung out outside the studio?" He asked the both of us.
"No." We both replied. "We haven't had the time to." Normani stated, noticing Scooter's facial expression.
"It's just really important you guys have that bond, so when you work together, you get a better understanding of each other."
"I understand Normani very well." I lied, only trying to get myself out of hanging out.
It wasn't that I didn't like Normani, it's just I don't want to put all my trust in her just yet. I wanted to take things slower. See if this is an act she's putting up.
"How do you understand her, when you rarely talk to each other. The only time you talk to her is if you're writing. It's important to have that bond outside of work business, you know that Lauren." He announced.
"I was thinking, since today is our off day, we could go to the fair?" Normani asked, looking over at me for a response.
"I mean, I would, it's just,"
"She's just messing around, she'd love too." Scooter said, answering for me.
I sighed, putting my cigarette out. "What time are you thinking of going?" I turned and looked at her and asked.
"Probably in the next hour or sooner, if that's okay with you?"
"Next hour, I have to get ready." I chuckled, looking down at my outfit as I was still in pajamas.
"That's fine." Normani laughed as well. "Just call me when you're ready." She said. "I just have to go let my driver know." She added on, getting up from the table.
Me and Scooter nodded, and watched as she left, shutting the door behind her. "Are you crazy?!" I said to Scooter once the door finally shut. "Do you know how long it takes me to gain someone's trust? Did you forget what I went through?"
"Calm down, you guys aren't dating."
"It doesn't matter, I'm saying I don't know how she's going to act at the fair. What if everything she's doing now is just an act and then when we get to the fair, she's a different person?" I wondered.
"You really think I would ask you to hang out with someone if I knew they'd hurt you?" Scooter exclaimed, raising his brows. I was silent for a second because he did have a point. "I know what happened to you, and I don't want it to happen again. I'm doing this for the better of you."
"I just don't want to get hurt again."
"You weren't hurt in you first relationship, that worked out perfectly, what are you talking about?" He said with a confused look on his face.
"No, I'm not talking about her, I'm talking about how I let people in my life, and then they'd hurt me. I don't want that again." I said softly, dropping my gaze to the floor.
"Normani would never hurt you, I'll tell you that." He said truthfully.
I smiled sadly and looked at Scooter, hopefully, everything goes right.
"So you're telling me, you've never been to a fair before?" I asked, licking my ice cream as it began to drip off the cone.
"At least a California one." Normani stated, eating her ice cream as well.
"You've been living in Los Angeles for three years, and have never been to a fair? How is that possible?"
"Ever since I moved out here, it's been working nonstop. Writing, studio time, rehearsals, interviews, photoshoots, all that good stuff." She explained.
"You do a lot," I replied, remembering when I used to do that.
"Ever since Pink Friday dropped, everything has been nonstop." She laughed lightly. "But I'd rather not talk about business, let's talk about something else." She said, changing the subject.
"Like what?" I asked, raising my brow.
"What do you like to do on your off time?" She asked me, looking over at me. "Like do you hang out with friends?"
"I sleep in." I laughed. "I don't really go anywhere besides bars and clubs." I shrugged.
"So you're saying you wouldn't have come here if it wasn't for me?" She asked.
"I mean, probably not. But I couldn't turn you down." I said, winking at her.
She pushed me playfully, causing me to almost fall over, but she caught me. "If my ice cream would've drop, we would've had a problem." I said jokingly, licking my ice cream.
"Oh hush up, I would've bought you another one." She told me.
"Lauren!" A high pitched voice called out. I turned around and saw a teen coming towards me. "Can I take a picture with you?" She asked me excitedly.
"Sure thing nugget." I smiled. I grabbed the phone, and took two selfies with her, and handed the phone back to her. "Here you go." I smiled.
"I love you, I stuck with you through everything. I made a commitment too you." She announced, tears almost filling her eyes.
I felt honored to hear words like that, and I almost tested up myself. I opened my arms, and the girl came and hugged me. We had a tight hug and we rocked back and forth, for a second. "That means a lot to me, thank you so much babe. I love you." I told her, holding her hand.
She reciprocated and nodded, and we hugged one last time. She went off with her friends, and the squealed, and hugged her.
"You have a really good connection with your fans." Normani stated. "You act more like friends than anything."
"I make sure I keep a connection with them. They're like my little loves." I stated, with a smile on my face. "It crazy to think that some of them never left even though what I've been through."
"They have hope for you."
I realized that my fans always want the best for me. They want to make me happy and they do. Most of them left, but I understand why, and some of them stayed which truly makes me happy.
"These tabloids are just crazy. They portrait me as something I'm not." I said sadly.
"Just gotta ignore it, that's the only way you'll get through it." Normani stated, turning towards one of the game booths. "I suck at these." She chuckled, handing the vender a dollar to play.
"What?" I said in disbelief, looking at the baseballs and the cans. "Just have to knock down three cans!" I laughed.
"I don't play baseball!" She said, rolling her eyes playfully. "I just want that bear." She said, pointing to the giant blue stuffed animal hanging on the wall.
On her first try, she missed, and immediately backed out. I took one of the balls and threw it at the cans, knocking them all down. She dropped her jaw and looked at me. "Three years of softball. Comes in handy sometimes am I right?" I winked at her.
I pointed to the bear and the lady handed it to me. "I really wanted this bear." I jokingly said to her, cuddling the bear.
She pouted, but tried to hide her emotions. "I'm kidding, you can have it." I said, handing it to her.
Hanging out with Normani wasn't so bad. I thought she'd be a rude person, and she'd bring her posse, and completely ignore me. She turned out to be the complete opposite. She was a fun girl, and also very funny.
I looked at the time, noticing it was time for Taylor's debate at the college not too far from here. Normani came along, since she said she loved things like this, and was looking forward to it.
We met up with my family who had been sitting in the audience, and they all seemed pretty excited to meet Normani. "Where's Chris at?" I whispered, taking a seat next to dad.
"Last minute practice."
"Does Taylor know?" I asked.
He nodded. "She's okay with it. She said she doesn't have to stress out about looking at us because she knew Chris would make weird faces." He laughed.
"Do you think mom's coming?" I asked, noticing Taylor behind the curtains, and I waved at her.
"She had a meeting." He informed me.
I sighed and rolled my eyes. I knew she'd miss out on this, I'm just pissed off that she doesn't even put in effort to see us.
The debate started, and I was surprised with Taylor. She spoke on what she believed and was very informative. She discussed worldly issues, and she'd often go head to head with another person from another school.
Afterwards, her team won, and she came over to me, dad and Normani. When she saw Normani, she looked at me, not believing that she came along.
"You did really well, kiddo." I told her, wrapping my arms around her shoulder as we walked out of the theatre.
"I get from the best." She said, trying to wiggle out of my arm, as a rubbed my knuckles against her head softly.
We walked passed these group of girls who were whispering things as we walked by. I looked over at them, and they had already been looking our way. I furrowed my brows and they turned away, giggling.
"Just ignore them," Taylor told me, waving her hand dismissively.
"What was that about?" I asked, still looking at the girls as we walked away.
"Nothing," Taylor said shaking her head. "Thanks for coming tonight. Thanks for telling me Normani was coming too." She faked smiled.
Normani chuckled and looked at her. "It was kind of last minute." She stated, shrugging her shoulders.
"Even if I would've told you, you probably would've freaked out." I mentioned.
"I was up there and when I saw Normani my palms started sweating and I just wanted to burst out into tears." Taylor said frantically.
We laughed at her words and I walked her to the car before leaving. "Thanks for coming Lauren." She smiled, wrapping her arms around me.
"No problem. I want to make to all of your events." I smiled at her. We had a small silence and she looked up at me with softened eyes.
"Do you think mom will come to my next one?" She asked me.
I frowned feeling terrible that mom didn't show up. I wanted to tell her my truthful answer which was no, but I didn't want to get her hopes up. "You never know, she's always busy." I told her softly.
"It's very frustrating. Even if she does come, I don't want her boyfriend here." She said, with a tone of anger in her voice. "He only gives a damn about his own self." She said frustratedly, rolling her eyes.
I smiled sadly, knowing that was true. There has never been a time where he has showed us any affection. We stopped talking to him after him and dad got into a fight. It was a horrible night, and I was also drunk that night, so I don't remember much of it.
He had never encouraged mom to come see us, he's always puts himself before us. We aren't important to him and he isn't important to us.
"Well Tay," I started sighing afterwards, placing my hand on her shoulder. "That's just how it is. He's her little shadow, he follows her everywhere. We can't control him." I told him, locking eyes as she looked up at me. "I gotta get outta here kiddo, I'll see you at the game tomorrow." I told her, kissing her forehead.
I walked back over to my car where Normani was and sighed as I got into the car. "Everything okay?" She asked, looking over at me as I started the engine.
"Yeah, just family issues." I replied, added a chuckle after to make it seem like I didn't care.
"Well Scooter called, he wants us to meet him at this club. He has someone who he wants to introduce to us." She informed me, locking her phone.
"Well shit," I cursed, rolling my eyes. "I have to go home and change. Are you sure he said tonight?"
She nodded and showed me the text message. "Son of a bitch." I said under my breath.
-
We got to the club, and everything felt so tempting. I tempted to go take as many shots my body would allow me, tempting to go dance, and I was tempted to find someone to hook up with.
"I'd much rather be in a tee shirt and boots, than a dress and heels." I said to myself but loud enough for Normani to hear.
"You look good either way," She commented, looking at me with a smile.
"Thanks?" I said, furrowing my brows.
We met Scooter at one of the booths in the club, and he been sitting with one guy I knew and another girl, that I didn't know of.
"Hey girls," He greeted us, watching us both slide into the booth. "Glad you could make it."
"You know," I started, grabbing a piece of bread, and reaching for a shot the waiter had been passing out. "I'd be at home sleeping right now if you hadn't called me for this." I said, drinking the shot.
"Don't worry, this is a good cause." He informed me.
"As you both may know, this is Zayn," He said pointing at the guy next to him. Normani waved, and smiled at him, as for me, I just nodded. "And this, is one of the newest artist recently added to the label, Jilly." He said enthusiastically.
"So what's this meet up about?" I asked him.
"Well, I want you all to do a song together." He said excitedly. "It will be a smash, and it'll be excellent for Normani and Jilly." He nodded.
"You do know I'm not an R&B, pop artist, right?" I informed him once again since he has always been pairing me up with these type of artists.
"Lauren, I understand that, just hear me out." He started, "This could be your comeback song. Everyone will be hyped that you're on this track. Surprised as well."
"The majority of this world hates me, what makes you think they'll like me because I'm on a song with Zayn Malik and Normani Kordei?"
He didn't respond, and he stayed silent for a while.
"Scooter, you were the one that just told me I couldn't record my album yet, now you want me to do this?" I spoke, reminding him of last night.
"I didn't mean it like that and you know that Lauren," He confirmed. "We aren't going to talk about that right now, but tomorrow night, you will be meeting with one of the biggest producers tomorrow and I'm going to need you to behave." He said, pointing his finger at me.
My facial expression changed and I shook my head. "I can't do it tomorrow night," I mentioned, remembering about Chris's football game. "Chris has a football game."
"We could reschedule it, it's not a big deal." Jilly told him.
"We can't that's the problem, the producer is only out here for a week, and the label wants this song finished." He stated, taking his hat off and running his hands through his hair.
"Whatever happened to what the artist wants?" I said frustratedly.
"Don't start Lauren." He mouthed. "I understand that some of you want to do things your way, and I completely agree with that, but for now, everything is in the labels hands. We just want what's best for you. Think of this as a stepping stone for you guys to began to do things on your own."
"Completely understandable," Zayn spoke. "I have something to do tomorrow night too, but we all know the label won't let this slide. This could be a big opportunity for Jilly and Mani, as well as you Lauren." He said, smiling at me.
"Pretty much all of America hates me." I rolled my eyes, sitting back in the booth.
"Lauren you have to earn the publics respect by showing them you're a serious artist." Scooter told me. I wanted to say something, but he cut me off. "I know you're a serious artist, they don't know who you are, I do though. I know you can do this."
I thought about what he said, and sighed. I am a serious artist, but who would really want to hear me on a song after my terrible past. Everyone would be questioning why am I on this track with these amazing people. I don't want them to go down on the charts just because of me.
"I'll do it." I told them, only for their benefit of doing the song and only because Scooter wants me too, I pretty much didn't have an option.
They all clapped and we discussed further more on the topic.
Afterwards, we stayed at club for awhile. I had shot after shot, and it got pretty intense. The next minute, I only remember hearing a door shut. I looked over and I saw Normani, and she handed me a water that had been in our SUV. "What about my car?" I asked her, looking out the window and seeing a bunch of flashing lights.
"Scooter took it home for you." She informed me.
"Can they see in?" I asked, referring to all the paparazzi outside and around the car.
"No, the windows are tinted, babe." She said, grabbing the water out of my hands.
"I fucking hate them. Did they see me at all?" I asked, running my hands through my hair.
"No, we got the club security to hide your drunk ass pretty well." She laughed. "You cause pretty much of a riot don't you?"
"All for one picture to put in an irrelevant ass magazine to only make me look like a bad person." I said, looking at the men with their cameras looking like animals trying to get a picture. "Why haven't we pulled off yet?" I asked the driver.
"I can't run the over, Ms. Jauregui."
"Well I give you my permission."
-
Normani walked me to my apartment and told me she wanted me to rest. I nodded and I watched as she walked down the hallway, and disappeared down the stairs. As I opened my door, I saw Keana packing up her stuff.
"What are you doing?" I asked her, looking at the boxes around me.
"I came to get my stuff." She replied, shoving her clothes in a small box.
"You're leaving me?" I pouted, watching her walk back and forth from the room to the living room.
"Yes Lauren."
"You can't leave me." I said, walking towards her, and pulling her into me.
"Well I am." She said, pulling away.
"No, I'm saying, you know you can't leave me." I smirked, pulling her back into me. "Both you and I know, you'll be back for me. You can't leave me."
She didn't respond, and she relaxed a bit. I looked into her eyes, and pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. "How about, you stay for the night, and think about this." I whispered in her ear, my lips trailing across her neck.
She lifted her head up, and a quiet moan escaped from her lips. "Lauren, I-I"
"Just think about it," I said in between kisses and I kissed her neck.
"Lauren, you, a-always, oh my" She said, relaxing more, as I sucked on the flesh. I pushed her against the wall softly, and she placed her hands on my hips.
I kissed her gently, tugging on her belt loops. "Why are you like this?" She asked, pushing me off of her.
"You're irresistible." I smirked, picking her up.
-
"This is so stressful." I said, throwing my pen against the wall. "They won't be happy with this."
My girlfriend came around and wrapped her arms around my neck, resting her chin on my shoulder. "Who cares what they think of the song, it's if you like it or not."
"I do, but this isn't a song that'll make the album. I want this to be my next single, but it'll just be my next song in the trash can."
"Don't talk like that, you only have two verses down."
"I know that, but everything else will just not be pleasing." I frowned, looking at the paper with the lyrics on it.
"Lauren, you have to stop caring about what people think of you. Stop trying to make other people happy and make yourself happy. You're happiness comes first out of everyone else's. Once they see you're happy with it, they'll appreciate it too. And if they don't, they aren't important." She said, rocking us side to side.
I smiled at her words, and felt her lips on my cheek. "So you think I should finish the song?"
"Of course you should! See if you like it afterwards. I'm pretty sure you will though." She laughed, rubbing the top of my head and messing up my hair.
I turned and looked at her before she left out the door. "Hey," I called her. She turned around and met my gaze, "I love you." I said softly.
She smiled, "I love you too."