Sad magcon imagines

I turned to him and said "yes"

We wiped each others tears and hugged for what felt like ten minutes.

"Where's Tez?" I asked

"He's sleeping." Hayes said

"Okay." I said hugging Hayes again.

We just hugged. We didn't talk. We just hugged.

We were snapped out of the hug by a phone call.

He answered it and smiled instantly. "Hey baby." He said getting up and leaving me.

"Bye again." I whispered. I started tearing up.

He left like he didn't come back.

Tez left the next morning and didn't come back.

*2 months later*

I have ate two things since Hayes left. TWO.

I haven't slept.

I haven't been on any social media.

I haven't done anything.

I've only changed my clothes occasionally.

My friends haven't visited me, no one has actually.

It's October and I hear he's with another girl who makes him really happy.

I guess my mom was right I'm "worthless and no one will ever love" me in her own words.

I guess my dad was also right "no one wants" me and "no one ever will"

I guess everyone who has sad anything bad about me was right.

I brushed my hair and brushed my teeth.

I out on mascara and eyeliner.

I did light eyeshadow and Chapstick.

I put on his old hoodie and a pair of my leggings and knee high socks.

I put on my ugg boots left the house.

Finally.

I started walking to Starbucks when someone recognized me.

It was a fan girl, she started crying.

"Noel! Someone said you died." She was crying,

"Nope." I said fake smiling

"Hayes will be so happy, he missed you" she said crying again

"He doesn't miss me, he has another girlfriend." I said tearing up

"No he doesn't. Or he didn't tell us fans." She said sadly

"He probably hasn't told anyone." I said sadly also.

"Can I get a selfie?" She asked

"Sure." I said smiling

We took the picture then before she walked off she asked me "have you lost weight?"

"Yeah.." I said sadly

"You look good." She said smiling

Little did she know it was because I haven't ate in so long.

I decided not to go to Starbucks and to go to Tacobell instead since I want a Freeze.

I walked in and saw him, Tez and Nash.

It wasn't long until I was spotted.

I was ordering.

I stuttered when saying "a baja blast Freeze please."

Then I payed the 1.55 or whatever it is and waited for it to be ready,

When it was ready I tried to leave but the boy were I outside the exit talking.

I left staring at the ground.

I was walking until I heard "Skylynn still asks about you."

A tear instantly rolled down my cheek.

"She really misses you, Hayes really misses you. We all do."

I turned around and saw Tez,

"Look, do you see me? I haven't ate or slept in 2 months. You guys could of came over.

I was alone.

I'm always alone. " I said

"Why didn't you eat or sleep?" Hayes asked with his voice cracking

"The love of my life cheated on me and left me for some girl. I didn't think I had a reason to function. Today just happened to be the day I got tired of the bloody knuckles and broken heart." I was crying.

I wiped my tears and stood there staring at the ground.

"I haven't been so great either. I'm failing all my classes, I haven't let the house in weeks, I only post pictures of us, someone said you died and I thought I lost you for good." He cried

"I almost died. I almost over dosed but my brother saved me, also I dropped out of school since I gave up." I said also crying.

We hugged and agreed to be friends until we wanted to continue a relationship again.

That night he came over and stayed the night, he posted pictures with me,

When he went to sleep I read the comments they were terrible.

One was about how fat I am, when I weigh 89 pounds.

Like yeah, okay.

I just laughed and kept scrolling.

I went into my bathroom and took his phone.

Instead of reading comments I listened to music.

He has a playlist about me but it was songs about hating me.

Cool.

I played sad songs and found my old friend, my blade.

I sliced my arms and hips.

I cried silently.

I cleaned the blood up and put on sweatpants and a hoodie.

Then I slept on the opposite couch of Hayes.

I woke up to laughter.

I wasn't wearing a hoodie anymore but Hayes was taking pictures of the cuts and laughing.

I cried.

I ran up to my room and locked the door.

To think he actually loved me.

Yeah right.

I cried until I was puking.

I couldn't stop liking and gasping for air.

I was blacking out, the into thing I remember was an paramedics picking me up.

I woke up in a bright white room.

It was cold and quiet.

I looked over and saw Hayes, he looked pale.

I just cried.

I didn't die, what a shame.

Someone walked into the room but I couldn't see because I refused to look at anyone.

It was my little sister, she walked in and cried.

She was now 9.

She was crying.

Apparently I almost died.. Again.

Then my older brother walked in.

He sat next to me and asked "they said you haven't ate in weeks and that you haven't slept either." He cried into his hands

"I haven't. I won't lie." I said

"Why are you not afraid of dying? Do you not care?" He asked

"I'm not afraid of dying since I don't care and none of you care until it's your fault. I don't care. I never have. Ya know when I was 11, I told my mom I wished I was dead, when I was 8 I almost died and I hoped and prayed that I would die... I was 8 and didn't want to live, I was bullied my whole life." I said crying

"When I was in daycare I got death threats, I was like 4-5 and being told that some kid was gonna slit my throat."

"Then all the bullshit these past 4 years. What did you expect for me to be strong? Nope. " I was crying.

I wanted to die.

I looked Hayes dead in the eyes and said "Why do you act like you love me?" He sobbed loudly

"Hmm? You laughed at my cuts, you cheated on me, you act like you care when in reality you don't." I said crying

I showed him my still freshly scarred arms "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A JOKE? It's super funny now, right?" I yelled at him.

"I'm sorry.' He said getting up and leaving.

My family left.

All of them.

The doctor walked in and saw me.

He said "where did they go."

I relied "they only care unless it's their fault," I said crying.

He let me leave an hour after.

He prescribed me medicine and told me to be careful.

I went home and walked in my house.

Hayes and three other popped out and yelled surprise I blew them off and walked upstairs.

I locked my door and started crying.

Hayes unlocked the door and came in.

"Why won't you come say hi." He said tearing up

"Since when did you care?" I asked

"Always. Baby I wasn't cheating I was planning something amazing but we didn't talk for two months and I was crushed." He said

"JUST LEAVE." I cried

Him and the other left for good.

A week later I was all over the new.

I was found hung in my closet with a note that said "no one loves the mistake"

Everyone said it was 'the saddest suicide'.

Hayes an everyone forgot about me and so did my family.

No one cared. The fans moved on and I was forgotten. The one who remembered was someone random, like they always say "when no one cares about someone who died, sarrow is out upon a random person."

That was the end of me.