Rays Point of View
"Did you or did you not drug Susanna!", the officer spat as he slammed his hand in the table. His deep voice echoed through the empty room.
Silence..
"I was drunk, I wasn't thinking.", I finally divulged.
"We all know that's not the right story! Ray it's not your first time being here, you were already on probation for drug abuse, you checked out of a rehab facility 2 months ago... You were such a great kid what happened?"
"Okay, here's the whole story"
August 1995 3 weeks after Lucy's death.
"I've been telling you to quit the crap and pack your shit!", a muffled voice said to me.
It been 2 days since that wild party I went to, mom said that if I didn't get my act together she'd send to rehab. I guess that day she had enough.
"I'm tired of cleaning your shit up!! I'm sick and tired of you fucking up!", she screamed as she put my clothes in a suitcase.
"It's not my fault", I slurred.
"You know what? You can't use Lucy as a scape goat for your addiction, your killing yourself Ray! Look at you!"
I got up from the bathroom floor and took a hard look at myself . I had a bruised face, baggy eyes, yellow teeth... "Maybe I just need to wash my face", I said to myself as I splashed water on my face. I looked up, NOTHING changed. "More water". The more I kept doing the more I started to realize that I needed help.
****
"Your going to stick to your morals and come back a better person", mom scolded me. We were 20 minutes away from rehab. It was a 2 hour car ride and I've been clean for 12 hours.
"Ray... Promise me you're going to get better?", she said as she looked me dead in the eye.
"I don't make promises", I told her as I fidgeted with my hands.
"Ray! This is serious, you're killing yourself! Injecting yourself with strange fluids, downing pills"
"It's my life mom! Can we please have some peace and quiet for once!", I interrupted.
She turned her head back towards the road and started to curse me out in Turkish under her breath.
****
We finally arrived at the rehabilitation facility, it was a Saturday so it was pretty busy.
"Love you", my mom said she she kissed me on the cheek and left.
****
I groaned ad I lied in my bed, it was 3 days since I came here and I was going through relapse, I wasn't eating or sleeping..
"Ray, get up inspection", one of the roommates told me.
Inspections where tricky and hard to get by, if you had 1 thing that they found "inappropriate" they'd put you in isolation.
"How are you holding up?", Brandon asked sheepishly as we walked down the hallway.
"Look at me, Brandon look. Do I look like I'm okay?"
Brandon took a good look at me, I knew I didn't look too hot, probably like bougie Johnny Depp.
"Okay, you don't look too good , but at least your health is okay"
"Yeah, okay..."
"Look on the Brightside, you're getting out of here in 4 months, I have another year"
*****
December 1995
"I congratulate you, now you'll be able to start your journey to sobriety and have a drug free life", our counselor said, it was my last day and I was ready to head back home and finally out my life on the right track.
I started to head out the door and I saw my mother waiting for me. She had glassy eyes and a crooked smile.
"So what happened next?", the officer interrupted.
"So I went back to Maryland, because I wanted to go back to school and finish my senior year"
********
"Ray your scores are impressive, but there's a flaw in your transcript"
"Look I know, I screwed up in the past but I'm here to just get school over with and carry on with my life"
"Look Ray, you're a bright kid, but I don't think colleges would take a kid who's been to rehab and skipped half of their junior year!"
"Look I'm not here to make excuses or anything but I was going through a hard time, my girlfriend just died-"
"We'll get back to you", he interrupted.
"But-"
"I said we'll get back to you, don't worry about a thing"
*******
They never got back to me. And I just spent months loathing myself, feeling dumb and suicidal. So I started working on the docks.
"But that doesn't explain how and why you raped Susanna
"I never raped her, but I gave her the drug"
"Why?"
"Because I wanted her to take her mind off of everything, she's been stressed. I would never take advantage of her"
"But why did you take drugs? There's many other ways to make you happy"
"I-I... I- wasn't taking drugs, they were anxiety pills and anti depressants"
"Wait, what? I'm so confused..", he said taking a seat.
"I never took drugs, I was taking anti depressants and anxiety pills, I went to rehab because I kept over using them"
"Wait so your mom didn't know?"
"No, I didn't want everyone to worry about me, but my mother started to get suspicious, she just automatically assumed I was taking drugs"
"Okay so if you weren't taking drugs the what about June 31st-July 7th you were in the hospital for drug use?"
"I overdosed on anxiety pills, if you don't believe me you can do a drug test right now"
The officer gave me a perplexed look and walked out of the room he headed outside. My mind filled with joy I finally did something I never wanted to do, I finally admitted that I have a problem.
5 minutes later he came back with a cup and through it at me, "Pee in it"
I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked at him.
************
Beep Beep
The faint sounds of my alarm clock rang and I turned around to turn it off, I quickly popped some anti depressants before I went to the police station.
********
"Your results came back positive, but we'll see you in court on August 18th", the lady at the counter said, chewing her gum like a horse.
"Wait what? Court?"
"We'll explain everything later just go, I've seen you around here a lot and trust me it's not a fun place to be", she followed up
********
GUYS I AM SO SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED IN "YEARS" I FINALLY GIT TO IT I KNOW IFS CRAPOY BUT ENJOY!