thirteen.
This morning I had a bunch of promo to do. My song had been released and I had been doing interviews left and right. I had a much better team with me, and it was a much more organized thing.
My first interview of the day had been a radio interview. Radio interviews were my favorite since most of them are welcoming and they have a good time with you.
Interviewer: We have the one and only Lauren Jauregui in here, what's up Lauren?!
Hallloooo. I'm doing good, just making music.
Interviewer: How's that coming along? We heard from sources that you're working on your fourth album? Is that true?
Yes, I actually am working on my album. It's in the works and it's coming along well.
Interviewer: What's the vibe with the album? The sound direction? We all know you for your raspy voice and guitars and pianos, but We Know has such an Pop vibe. We wouldn't expect that from you! I was shocked to be honest.
I'm exploring all genres with this album. I'm working with wonderful people on it. We Know was something written in Hawaii with a studio in my hotel room that I made and borrowed a guitar from a friend. We Know was something me and my friend worked on and I didn't think it would blow up like this.
Interviewer: Now, as in wonderful people, do you mean Normani Kordei?
Yeah she helped with the song, she is also on the track as well as my other friend.
Interviewer: What's going on with you and Normani, you guys have been seen around town recently. Having lunch together, being all cuddly and shit.
I chuckled and shook my head, remembering what my publicist said. Me and Normani are just friends. She's one of my best friends. I'm with Zayn.
Interviewer: Okay, okay, just wondering. Back to We Know, so who else is featured on the song?
Well, when I was in Hawaii, I was at a restaurant and they had karaoke night and this girl had such an amazing voice. Her name is Dinah Jane, she's known in Hawaii, but not as much out here in the states. I just wanted to let her voice shine. She needs to be known.
Interviewer: Dinah Jane, I'll look her up. If Lauren says she's good, she's good. So about you and Zayn?
Yes, we're together.
Interviewer #2: Is he good in bed?
That's a personal question!
Interviewer: He's a good looking man. I wish I looked like him. I'd catch all the ladies. I'm jealous of him, not lying!
Don't be, he's not that great.
Interviewer: He seems great! Now, we have some fan questions, were going to answer before we get to the break. Now, let me tell you, when I tweeted about you, my phone froze. I've never gotten so many mentions in my life. Most of them are from my mom!
That's not good. You gotta step your tweet game up!
Interviewer: Looks like I have too! Melissa asked, when can we expect an album?
Soon. I'm not going to give away too much, but soon.
Interviewer: Soon folks, the album is coming out soon! Now, Jaime wants to know who's featured on the album and will Normani be on the album?
I'm pretty sure she will be on the album, on a couple songs. But I'm not giving away anymore clues because my publicist is freaking out about me saying that.
Interviewer: Last question, Tony wants to know, will you be touring for the album and what was we know about??
Yes! I'm going on tour. I'm really excited to go on tour, as soon as the album comes out, we will be tour afterwards. We Know was about someone who I had feelings for but turns out he said the same thing to the same girl. So We Know all about him.
Interviewer: Same thing said, but to a different girl? Shit, that's not cool. Hopefully you're over him. But,that's it folks! Lauren Jauregui in the building! Now we are going to have We Know play since we all know that everyone loves this song. So, Lauren wanna take us into the song?
Hey guys, it's Lauren and this is We Know!
After the interview, I shook hands with everyone and talked to them for a second. I told them about the album and how excited I was for people to know how I actually am and was feeling at the moment.
"Why am I still saying I'm with Zayn?" I asked my new A&R, Ally as we got into the car.
"For your sales. Once then you can drop the bomb that you and Zayn broke up in a couple weeks." She said, looking over her email.
"But I'm with Normani, and this is just going to cause controversy." I told her, sighing deeply.
"Cookie has it all under control. Speaking of Normani, have you made it official?" Ally asked concernedly.
"Eh." I shrugged.
It's been a couple weeks since Normani told me that she wants me, but we never had discussed if we are together or not. Ever since she rejected me in front of Diggy, I don't know if she wants to be seen as a couple.
"I haven't really expressed to her how I feel about her. I'm worried about the outcome." I confessed. Even though she told me not to worry, I've been worried. At night, I'll think about if she even wants to be with me, and it bothers me. I want to make a move sometimes, but I just don't feel right. I don't want to get rejected.
"Well, I have a question for you?" Ally said, looking at me and arching her brow.
"What's your question?"
"Are you in love with her?" She asked.
I sighed and thought about her question. "I mean," I hesitated. "I like her. And every time I see her, it's like I like her even more."
For some reason, I'm not in love with her. Well not yet. Maybe it'll grow, hopefully. As we care on what we have together, maybe I'll see the light and she could possibly be the one for me.
"So you aren't in love?" She interrogated.
"I don't want to say no, but I don't want to say yes." I confessed.
"So you're in between? Why?"
"Because, that's how I am. I'm building a wall up because I don't want to get hurt, but I know who she is, she won't hurt me, but I still have my doubts from my previous relationship."
These relationships haven't been the best. At first, I thought Zayn would be the one, and I actually liked him a lot, but after him and even before him, I haven't liked anyone I've been with. As for Normani, I really do like her, but my heart isn't crazy for her. My previous relationships give me doubts, not only about her, but about a lot of people. I'd like to blame Zayn for that as well as people before him. Besides Camila.
"Listen," Ally stopped me before getting out of the car to move onto the next interview. "I've known Normani for quite awhile and I know she would never hurt anybody. So you shouldn't have to worry. Just take things slow for now."
I smiled and gave her a hug. Once I got out of the car, all the fans were screaming my name, security was holding down the barricades. Everything was so hectic. What was weird was that I just was talking about my problems to Ally in the car, and all these fans have no clue what's going on.
I took a picture with a few people even though security told me not too, but I knew how much it meant to the fans so I had too do it.
When I walked into the building I saw Cookie. She had looked up from her phone and scurried over towards me. "Guess what." She told me, excited.
"What?"
"We Know, is number three in the Billboard Top One Hundred!" She cheered, wrapping her arms around me and hugging me tightly.
My jaw dropped and I couldn't believe it. "Are you serious?" I asked her once she pulled away.
"Yes! I told you I would handle you!"
"I haven't had a song out in almost two years and this is so surreal," I said lowly, basically to myself.
I wasn't expecting at all for this song to be this huge. I thought a few people would like it and my fans. But now, there's people who are actually liking my music and giving it a chance.
"Lauren, your comeback is going to be huge. Just imagine everyone when your album drops!" She told me.
When my album drops. I'm not even ready for the people's reaction. I'm more so nervous than excited. What if they don't like how I'm changing the genre of it or it's not as good as the ones before? Every time I think about my album, it's like I'm excited but mainly nervous about it.
The interview began to start and I went to go sit down.
Interviewer: Lauren! It's so nice to see you again!
I know! I'm very happy to be here. It's been awhile. Last time I saw you, I was first coming out as an artist. I was like fifteen, sixteen?
I remember! You had brown hair and you were much shorter! You wore colors too.
I had the worst outfit that day, let's not bring that back. I laughed.
Talking about back. Look who's back in the business! We Know is so amazing, I play it every time my boyfriend and I get in a fight. He hates it.
That's funny. I appreciate how much everyone likes it. The support has been incredible. I forgot how dedicated my fans can be and every time they get me somewhere or I go number one, I'm still in shock. Everything is so surreal.
Your fans are hella dedicated. Before you even came, there was a line and they were all singing. This one girl waited in the bathroom down the hall for about two hours until they got caught.
Man, that's dedication. She waited in the bathroom?
Yes! Security had to take her out and she used an excuse like 'she's apart of your team' I believe. Speaking of fans, what's one of the most craziest moments you've had?
I haven't had any recently, but one time I was on tour, and we had a party at our hotel room. So I heard she pretend to be apart of the crew, so when we were going to our rooms, she followed us, and then I get to my room and I'm about to go to sleep, and she knocks on the door and ask for a picture.
I'm telling you, they're dedicated.
One of them hid in the trash bin at a venue, and they were in there for hours, and ended up not meeting me because I didn't go out that exit. I felt bad so I surprised them.
That's sweet of you. That's what I always liked about you. You gave back to people. Speaking of fans, we had Normani here a couple months ago, and she happens to be your biggest fan!
We're actually really close friends! So that's cool, she's a big fan of mine and now we're best friends.
Are you her biggest fan?
Eh, she's alright. She's pretty lame. I'm kidding, she's amazing.
Back to business, what was the inspiration behind your new music. You're exploring different genres and taking a new direction I heard.
Not really a new direction, but I am exploring different types of music. I don't want to be seen as an artist that sticks to one genre since I like all genres of music, so why not try new things?
So many people are excited for this album. I tell my boyfriend everyday, when your album drops, expect me not to talk, and hearing it constantly around the house.
You're a dedicated fan.
Hell yes! When you released We Know, I cried. I'm kidding, but I was so excited! You haven't released anything in a while, besides being a feature, but we want to hear just your voice for a whole three minutes! How does it feel to have your song out?
Man, I haven't felt this way in awhile. I forgot what it felt like! My manager just told me that We Know is on the Top One Hundred and I'm just amazed. My fans go hard.
How many songs have you recorded so far?
So far, probably over a hundred. I'm in the studio every night. This is my passion and I missed this a lot. I'm really excited for everyone to hear my new stuff.
Hopefully they all make the album! Well, it's time for us to play your hits, you want to take us into it?
Hey guys, it's Lauren Jauregui, and you're listening to my top hits only on the one and only Sirus XM Radio.
"Lauren, I am incredibly proud of you," The interviewer said, walking over towards me. "When everything happened, I was like, 'man, this isn't Lauren. This isn't the Lauren I know.' I knew you could change, and I always stayed by your side." She told me, giving me a small smile.
"That means so much to me, thank you for everything. I really like doing interviews with you." I smiled, hugging her.
We said goodbye and I headed to my meet and greet that I was having for the fans that won a contest to meet me.
As I was meeting fans, a very special fan stopped by and visited me.
"Lauren, oh my God, I love you so much!" She cried, wrapping her arms around my waist and hugging me tightly.
"Hi Normani," I laughed, patting her head. I released her from the hug and my eyes dropped to her lips, wanting to kiss them. "What are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to stop by and show my support." She smiled. Fans had been screaming her name and shouting out 'Laurmani' or 'my parents' which made us chuckle.
"After this I'm pretty much done, wanna grab a bit to eat?" I asked her.
"I'd love that," she smirked. "I'll meet you out there." She said, referring to the lobby of the building.
-
Normani rode in my car and Ally took a separate car to go back to office with Cookie.
"Why was Cookie there?" She asked me, looking out the window and seeing Cookie get in the car.
"Maybe someone from their label had an interview in there as well." I said, which wasn't a lie. I hadn't told Normani that I had signed with Cookie and dropped Scooter.
"Where's your team at?"
"They left when I started the meet and greet. Only security stayed."
I looked down at my phone and noticed that Jilly had texted me which was odd. I never really talked to her before and she wants to meet for dinner.
"What's wrong?" Normani asked, noticing how I furrowed my brows.
"Nothing, I think it's odd that Jilly wants to meet for dinner. I never really spoke to her."
"Well, maybe it's a start to a new friendship, but don't get too friendly. I want you to myself." She smirked, leaning towards me and kissing me repeatedly.
"Mani," I started.
"What's wrong babe?" She asked in between kisses.
I was thinking about asking her how she felt about me, but I don't know if I'm ready for a reaction that I might not like. "Nothing, it's just, I'd like to take demand sometimes." I smirked.
"I don't have a problem with that." She responded, arching her brow.
We arrived at the restaurant I told the driver to take us to and I wanted to hold he hand as we walked in, but I knew someone would probably photograph us. Also, I don't know how she feels about us being public and if we'll ever announce we're "together."
"I feel like I haven't seen you in forever." The dark haired girl told me.
"Mani, I see you almost every night in the studio." I chuckled, unraveling my silverware that was wrapped in a napkin.
"I know, but you don't speak to me." She pouted.
"Well you seem entertained by Diggy and all these guys that are coming in to help you on your album." I stated somewhat harshly, but I didn't mean it. I noticed how quiet she was and looked up from the menu at her. "I didn't mean it like that, I mean you seem to be enjoying their help. I don't think you need mine."
"Lauren I'd much rather have your help than any of there's." She mentioned to me.
"It's hard for me," I hesitated at first. "It's hard for me to help you, because you know how I am." I confessed.
"What are you talking about?" She asked confusedly.
"I want to help you a lot, but I can't keep my hands off of you. And the last time I tried to kiss you, you rejected it." I expressed.
"I rejected you only because Diggy was there. It was supposed to be seen as rude. It's just he still has feelings for me, I didn't want to be rude." She responded.
"But you couldn't tell him that you are with me? It's almost as if you can't tell anybody." I admitted.
"I just rather keep it a secret. I'm not really the type of person to tell people my personal life." She confessed to me. "It has nothing to do with you." She confessed.
I smiled a bit and continued to look at my menu. "Lauren, can I tell you something?" Normani asked.
I looked up at her and met her gaze.
"I've never been with a girl before," she confessed. I looked up at her and my eyes widened. "You're the first girl I've ever actually liked. I always thought I'd be with guys, but I guess not."
"It's about love. If you love them you love them."
"Honestly, I've had the biggest crush on you. Ever since we first met, I've never felt this way about anybody." She said, reaching over to grab my hand.
"I feel special." I smirked.
I was going to tell her how I feel about her, but we both obviously feel different ways for each other. Well I do. I'm not that much in love.
We went back to the house after lunch and Normani had taken a nap since it was her day off. I told her I'd been with her in a bit, I just had to check my email to see if I had anything from someone I asked to do a song with.
I went through my files to listen to my old recorded songs, and I found one that looked unfamiliar.
"I never recorded this before," I said to myself. I clicked on the file labeled 1st Position and listened to see if was familiar.
"Normani?" I said once I heard her voice.
My cookie cutter not picture perfect
Unexpected but I'm worth it
Could expose you to this life, if that's what you like
Explore your thoughts, stop actin' scared
I could see you watching let me take it there
Let me show you what it's like, to fuck with something right
Girl let me put you on with something real
Wanna show you how it feels, to rock with something trill
So come join me in this room girl it's time
I know what you like baby, let me get you right
Oh na na, let me put you on
Oh na na na, let me put you on
Said she wanna try it, ain't tryna hide it
Fuck all of that fightin', ain't doin' no more lyin'
I start off slow so you feel secure
Just let me know where you feel it more
If your breath gets quick, that's normal
If my hands move slick, that's normal
We could smoke one first if you tryna get lit
My weed on ten come take a hit
Cause we on girl, we on
Girl let me put you on with something real
Wanna show you how it feels, to rock with something trill
So come join me in this room girl it's time
I know what you like baby, let me get you right
Say baby, stop messing with those boys get you a lady
Keep it 100 grand, don't try to play me
Fuck around with my heart might have to pay me, might have to pay me
"Oh my..." I paused after listening to the song. "Well this is impressive for me being the first girl she's been with." I said to myself.
Turns out I was on her laptop.
"Lauren, you never came down and laid down with me," I shot my head up and noticed Normani standing in the hallway walking towards me. "I thought you were sleepy?"
"I was, I just got sidetracked." I mentioned to her since I was texting my family for the past hour. "But now, I have to go meet Jilly." I told her, throwing my jacket over my shoulders. "I'll be back." I added, kissing her on her forehead.
Jilly had already been waiting at the restaurant when I arrived. I apologized for being a couple minutes late and she shrugged it off.
"How've you been, I haven't seen you in a while?" I said taking a seat across from her.
"Good, what about you? You seem much better." She responded, giving a small smile.
"Yeah, I feel a lot better. I don't feel sad anymore. It's like a burden lifted off my shoulders." I chuckled.
There had been an awkward silence between us and many times she'd hesitate or we would look at each other and smile a bit. "Jilly," I said breaking the silence. She looked up from her menu and looked at me. "Not to be rude but, why am I here. We've never really talked and now you want to eat dinner together?" I stated.
"Just wanted to make friends with you. You seem really nice and I never had to opportunity to before." She said smiling with her teeth. "So why haven't you been at the label. Scooter seems pissed."
"Oh!" I replied. "About that. I'm not on a contract with them. I'm with Cookie Lyon's now. Scooter paid me dust and now with Cookie, I'm on the charts." I smiled, remember what I heard earlier.
"Oh, so you're with them." She raised her brows and nodded. "Does Normani know?"
I frowned. "No. I wasn't planning on telling her right away." I admitted.
The only reason why I wasn't planning on telling her was because I didn't know how she would react to me changing labels. To her, this label is a lot to her and it's like her home. I don't want to speak bad about it in front of her.
"So I heard about you guys."
"Heard about us what?" I asked, confused by what she meant.
"That you guys were hooking up. I heard it from Mani." She mentioned, piecing off some bread and placing it in her mouth.
My eyes widened, surprised that we were "hooking up" in Normani's eyes. So she doesn't see us as a couple then. "Hooking up seems about right." I gave a sarcastic response. "So she has no feelings for me then?" I asked out of curiosity.
Jilly shrugged. "I don't know. She didn't say much. Just you were hooking up with each other."
I pursed my lips together as I played in my salad. "Want a drink?"
I sighed and thought about it. Fuck it. I said to myself. "Yeah."
-
Once the door opened, I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my torso. Pushing her against the wall as I sucked on the flesh of her neck, she moaned.
I then moved to her couch, laying her down. I threw off my clothes quickly and lifted her top, kissing her stomach all the way to her breast.
"Shit Lauren," Jilly cursed. I hovered over her attacking her lips and slid my hand in her skirt, pushing my fingers quickly inside of her.
I quickened my speed, watching the girl underneath me tremble. I removed my fingers and placed them in her mouth. She sucked on them for a minute and she pulled my closer to her.
I kissed her neck gently and left kisses down her body. I tugged on her skirt, and pulled it off. I hovered over her core and looked up at the girl who had been pleading. Softly and slowly sucking on it, then flicking my tongue quickly.
She pulled my head up and I attacked her lips, running my fingers up her center. My phone buzzed on the floor and it had been Normani calling. I quickened the speed fast, pumping my fingers in the girl. I watched as she reached her climax and eased it out.
"Wow," she said breathlessly. "Wow, wow, wow." She repeated.
I picked up my clothes and put them on then laid on the other couch she said. She had a blanket draped over it and I took it and placed it over me.
I don't know how drunk I am, but I do know how pissed off I am.