thirty four
The walls of hospitals always seemed so large when I was a small child.
The smell of generic cleaning supplies lingering the rooms, and the sound of coughs erupting through your ears.
As a child, the hospital seemed like a place of happiness; a place where people recovered, a place where mothers were introduced to their newborns, and where sick men and women were given a second chance at life.
One thing I was never told, however, was how the sadness that swarmed the air was hidden by the fake smiles nurses and doctors were trained to plaster onto their smug faces. The fresh and clean smell that was seemed so familiar was just a mask to cover the faint aroma of death and depression.
Walking into a hospital for what feel's like the millionth time, is a familiar feeling; a feeling that has grown to be so redundant. But for some reason, walking through the doors of the familiar building today felt so dark and different.
Today, I felt as if I was walking into my own personal hell. A place that filled me with worry and had me debating the worth of my own happiness or my whole life.
"Shannon?" I heard someone call. I turned my head to reveal Luke's tall figure standing before me.
"Have you seen my dad?" I asked frantically as I snapped back into reality.
"No," he said calmly as he walked over and lightly grabbed my arms. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," I whispered as my eyes searched the lobby.
"Luke!" I heard another voice call. He stepped back to reveal the same small girl from earlier this week. Juliet.
"What are you doing here?" She laughed with a wide smile. She was a gorgeous girl, and I could tell she had wiggled her way into Luke's mind. He always seemed to be thinking about her, and it made me happy, he deserved a chance to move on.
But as much as I wanted to know more about them, I had no time to focus on their situation. I quickly turned around and rushed down the hallway towards my father's office.
"Shannon, are you alright?" A nurse kindly asked me.
"Yup!" I called down the hallway and I stepped into my father's office, where I saw him sitting patiently at his desk. "What's wrong?!" I asked frantically.
"Nothing," he said quietly. "I needed to find a way to get you down here." He mumbled. My face changed as a look of confusion over came me.
"W-What?" I said quickly.
"Sources tell me you've been spending time with Jennifer's nephew, Ashton?" He mumbled. His eyes narrowing in confusion.
"Ashton is my friend," I said with anger in my voice. I was growing more and more upset at my father's words.
"From what i'm hearing, he's more than just your friend," he said harshly as he stood up from his desk. I felt slightly taken back by his attitude. "What the hell are you doing wasting your life away on a boy like that?" His voice grew louder and louder with each word he spoke. I started to back up slightly as fear rushed over me.
"He's just my friend, I swear," I said quickly. "And what the hell do you mean a boy like that?!"
"Don't lie to me Shannon!" He yelled as a fist slammed down onto his desk. He then approached me slowly. "He is a low life loser! All he is going to do is hold you back! After everything we've brought you up to accomplish!"
"I'm not lying! Ashton is a good person Dad!" I screamed as tears began to rush down my cheeks in fear.
I immediately saw a hand raise as he stood over me.
My heart stopped and I flinched as I prepared for what was about to occur.
Suddenly, I felt a sting on my cheek as his hand contacted my face. I quickly stumbled over and fell to the ground as he stood over me.
"You are so much better than that bastard!" He screamed. "I have given you everything and you're just going to throw it all away?!"
"Given me everything!?" I whimpered. "All you've done for me is make me miserable!" I yelled as I held my cheek and attempted to stand up. He stood over me and laughed. My father hadn't hit me or my mother in years. He had promised to change.
"Oh come on? You can't even take one hit?" He chuckled. "You're weak! He made you weak!" His eyes ran over my still body as I worked up the courage to say words I had been waiting to say my whole life.
"Says the one who has to hit his wife and daughter in order to get what he wants?!" I laughed as I finally stood before him. "That certainly says something about the type of coward you are?!"
I was struck once again, this time, a hard blow to the jaw. This time, a punch. I suddenly felt blood pouring from my lip.
The room fell silent as he began to realize what he had done. I waited patiently for the empty apology I was about to receive.
As I waited and waited, it never came.
"Get the hell out!" He screamed. "Get out of my hospital! Get out of my house and get the hell out of my life! You ungrateful bitch!" He laughed. "If you want to waste your time on some stupid boy, fine, but keep me the hell out of it!"
I stepped back in shock as I continued to cry.
Once I finally reached the door, I whimpered a phrase I had never said to my father before.
"I hate you."
And with that, I left, slamming the door behind me.
My mother immediately noticed my tears as she walked down the hallway. She was wearing her usual scrubs, looking as exhausted as ever.
"Sweetie, what happened?!" She said quickly as she stopped me. Her eyes filled with worry. She knew exactly what had happened, this was just her way of acting as if it was news to her.
"Ask your husband," I mumbled before pushing her away and rushing down the hallway.
"Shannon!" She called as I ran. I didn't bother to look back.
I saw Luke and Juliet as I was leaving, the two of them laughing and drinking coffee beside the elevator.
Once Luke noticed me, he called after me as well, but I didn't bother to turn around.
I just needed to get out.
I needed Ashton.