Hayes
I told him to forget me. I didn't want him to be around me, yes I still loved him but I couldn't bare the pain anymore... I was done trying, its the same stuff over and over again. "I love you, but I like her", "You stupid bitch" he'd scream before he would hit me, "I hope you jump off a cliff as I laugh", "Don't be like that you know I need you", his bipolar self was getting to the point to where I didn't know if I even wanted to deal with life anymore. My father is gone, my mother hates me, I have no friends here, he abuses me, he hates me and he loves me, I can't deal with it anymore.
I was going to jump. He went out swimming with the boys and I decided to text him a long goodbye message "Matthew, I don't know how to say this. Goodbye, this is not the end of you and I but the end of me. I'm tired of living in fear of you and not knowing if you love or hate me. You abuse me, you taunt me, you hate me, you claim you loved me and I've had enough. I have no one and I'm a unless, worthless, mess. I have no purpose and I wanted to say goodbye before jumping off a cliff like you told me I should last night... I love you, I always have and I always will. Find a girl who you won't treat like how you treated me.. Goodbye my handsome prince, you were my drug and I was always high when I was with you. Goodbye. I love you and maybe it just meant to end like this~ Noel."
I decided to leave my phone at the house so he couldn't try to stop me.. I got dressed in a bathing suit so it looked like I drowned. I ran to the cliff nearest to my house which had a beautiful beach I could drown and die at. As I jumped I screamed "this is for you Matt". I opened my eyes when I didn't hit the water. I was in the embrace of... Taylor. Great, he has the most sick look on his face. He just starred at me along with the others. "Noel, how could you. You could of died!" Taylor calmly said taking me out of the water onto the shore. "Everyone hates me, Matt abuses me, and I don't want to be here" I sobbed out. Hayes came running over to me. Hayes and I are only a year and a half apart he is older. "Noel, why didn't you tell us. You know I could of treated you better than him." He said crying. "I just want to die why couldn't you of just watched me drown like Matt would of?" I cried out. Everyone starred at Matthew with disgust and pitty. "Matt, you were abusing her?" Taylor asked. "Yeah, I was never thinking straight though. I didn't know she would kill herself!" He said crying. "You know what my past was like. This is the third time I've tried to die, the second time I've been abused, I had no one growing up and you still did this." I cried out while yelling. "What the fuck man, she has been through so much mental trauma. You said you wouldn't ever do anything to hurt her. You lied, you almost lost the only girl to put up with your shit all because you wanted to take everything out on her." Hayes yelled. "Woah, Hayes, calm down man. Its not right what he did but you need to calm down." Taylor said. I just stood there crying as I showed them all the bruises, cuts, scars, burns, and everything in between.
They all cried, Matthew refused to look. Hayes kept touching my ribs, since they were so noticeable along with my hips and knees. "Why Noel? You promised not to!" He cried. "I couldn't being myself to think I deserved to eat. So I didn't"I replied. "I can't even look at myself in a mirror" I said. "Matt, don't you see what you did? You ruined her. When was the last time you ate Noel?" Cameron said concerned. "Maybe, three weeks ago." I replied quietly. "Noel, why did you stay with me?" Matt asked crying. "Because you needed me, even if I was used as a punching bag and other terrible things its better than you hurting yourself." I said crying. "Last night you told me to jump, and you would laugh as you watched. I had enough, I just wanted to end the pain. I'm so done, like I sent you a long ass message before I left. I just want to die" I said as I fell to the shore in tears. Hayes picked me up, taking me over to Tez's car and handed me his hoodie and sweatpants. I just sat there crying, I couldn't stop hugging Hayes. Everyone said goodbye to each other, but Matthew stayed and sat in the sand with Nash as they talked about what happened. Tez and Hayes took me back to their place. It was gonna be a long way to recovery road.