[07]
my parents weren't home at the moment. i had no idea where they were, but earlier i heard them talking to each other before not hearing anything at all. i wasn't sure when they'd be back but i didn't want waste any time i had to myself.
i thought about staying in, enjoying my time in peace in the comfort of my, now quiet, home. i decided i'd go out to see if jonghyun was at our usual place, near the bus stop and train station.
i was hoping he'd be there even though it wasn't dark out. dark hours are my hours, he'd say.
while on my way, i noticed a family. a family of three. the two young parents were watching their toddler jump around, laughing. i didn't like to stare, but how could i not? it was something my family once had, but would never get back. happiness.
i was happy for them. i was happy in that moment.
i was always thinking about the downsides, and always letting my worries get the best of me. today i felt sort of relaxed. i was going to see jonghyun after all. the boy, or should i say man, who had the power to make me change my mood in almost an instant.
i continued my walk, the cold air hitting my forehead while jonghyun's scarf covered my nose and mouth. i've been using it all day but it still smells like him.
i could see that jonghyun was there, sitting on his usual side of the bench.
i'd usually fill the other space on the bench but it had already been occupied by someone else. a girl. they were talking, and i could see a slight smile on his face from where i was standing.
a could feel a pit in my stomach as i watched the two talk. i kinda felt as if i was jealous. maybe i was. i shouldn't have been. jonghyun and i are friends, or at least what i hope we are at this point, and i shouldn't be jealous.
i was hoping they didn't notice me standing from afar, which they didn't since they were so engulfed in their conversation. i walked past them, not shooting a single glance their way. i was afraid i'd meet jonghyun's eyes and he'd recognize me.
not that he would, since he can't really see much of me during the night.
i kept walking, and turned the corner to go home. he was busy, i understood that. i kept telling myself that.
the pit in my stomach wouldn't go away.
but that was the least of my worries. i hoped my parents weren't home and saw that i was gone, or i'd be in trouble.