ANGELIC KISS (ENG)

— Wer ist das?(Who is that?) — the German doctor shouted in surprise and fear when he saw a huge neon-colored creature standing behind him. 

 
— Experimental clinic “Innovatsion”. How may I help you? — he asked after calming down and lowering his voice. 

 
— Don’t be alarmed, I’m a goddess! — Fleya began. — Among humans, beings like me are called gods. You never knew about us because only the person we touch can see and hear us. I know this is the best medical laboratory in the entire world. I ask only one thing: make me human! 

The doctor tilted his head upward, adjusted his glasses, and remained frozen in shock for quite a while. 

— This is something beyond fantasy, — he replied. — At the very least, in the thirty-five years this clinic has existed, we’ve never seen anything like this. 

— Will you help me? Please, you are my last hope! — Fleya insisted. 

— Since we’re discussing this seriously, in what sense do you wish to become human? — the doctor asked sternly. — Metaphysically? I’m afraid I’ll have to refer you to psychiatry… 

— Transplant my brain with all its memories into a human body. Make me a girl as beautiful as her, — Fleya showed a photo of Emi smiling with messy hair. — I know it’s possible! You simply need to thoroughly study my organism. Don’t worry, while I’m still a goddess I can live forever, so I’m willing to wait a very long time, even a hundred years! 

— Unfortunately, I can’t help you, — the doctor answered sharply, turned away from Fleya, and resumed examining something through a microscope. 

— What about for one hundred billion dollars? 

— Well… I’ll think about it. Have a seat, we’ll draw some blood and see what can be done. 

The morning of some ordinary day. For Emi, it wasn’t a day off, but she wasn’t planning to go to university either. She woke up feeling anxious. 

“Again this sun is shining straight into my eyes, not letting me sleep!” 

She got up and headed to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face, but stopped when she heard Vazha’s rough voice downstairs, talking with Mariam in the kitchen. She clenched her fingers into a fist from inner tension, sighed heavily, and kept going. 

Emi spread some kind of cream over her face, though she herself did not fully understand what it was even supposed to do. The sound of a thin stream of water splashing against the sink drowned out Mariam shouting: 

— Emi, are you awake? Come eat, I made cheese pancakes! 

Emi stayed silent and for some reason remembered how Sophie used to make cheese pancakes, how Fleya made them too with condensed milk or strawberry jam. 

“Why this dish specifically? Why are there so many memories tied to it? Sophie, Fleya, and I used to devour them almost every morning! It’s already been ten days since I left her… Since the trip to Kazbegi my life has turned into some impossible knot of misery…” 

Emi walked toward the kitchen, where Mariam and Vazha were still talking. 

— We played an entire concert! — Vazha boasted. — A concert hall, thousands of people — not some club! This is a whole new level! 

— Yes, — Mariam answered blissfully, every word Vazha said about success sounding to her like balm for the soul. — This is what melts my heart: Valentine’s Day, Berlin… already this week, how wonderful! 

— You forgot to mention we’ve got a hundred thousand followers now! 

— Of course! 

— Mariam, — Vazha asked thoughtfully, — I know I’ve already annoyed you, I’ve asked a hundred times already, but… do I have a chance to be yours this Valentine’s Day? 

Mariam looked at him in confusion, paused, and awkwardly said: 

— You do… 

Emi stood in the doorway without entering the room or sitting down. 

Suddenly Mariam felt strangely disgusted yet sweet inside after the words “you do” slipped involuntarily from her lips. 

“Yes, I must truly be hopeless already!..” she thought. “I remember that cold rainy night when Vazha and I were coming back from a concert. I was crying, unable to hold back my feelings, my heartache, while he tried to comfort me, caressing me with his beer-stinking hands, assuring me how special and talented I was… How humiliating that was! And yet it’s astonishing that Vazha is not merely a bag of money, not merely some hopeless junkie and pothead, some rich Hollywood daddy’s son, but a human being. He can love me sincerely! Beneath that sweaty, unwashed gray sweater hides a loving heart! I’ll try, I’ll try…” 

— By the way, I bought the tickets, — Vazha continued while Mariam was lost in thought and therefore ignored him. — We’re flying business class, of course. 

— Why are you standing there, Emi? Come here! — Mariam called out. — He’s leaving now. 

Vazha left his dirty plate on the table, tossed a cigarette butt into it, threw on his jacket, and walked out. 

Emi sat down and began eating expressionlessly. 

— What is it, you’re sad again? — Mariam asked gently. — Lonely? I know why. Believe me, I feel it too. This will pass, it definitely will, my kitten. Every black stripe eventually turns white. 

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Mariam hurried over in surprise, opened the door, and saw Sophie. 

— Hi, Mariam, — she greeted her emotionlessly and headed toward the staircase. — I came to pick up the things from our shop. I can leave half of them to you… Actually, I came to take all my things from here. 

— Yeah, of course… — Mariam replied, confused. 

Emi was trembling all over, ready to sink through the floor. “This is my last chance,” she thought. “Maybe I should go out, talk to her, at least say goodbye? Maybe I still can?.. No, I can’t anymore!” 

When Sophie had already packed everything and come back downstairs, Mariam stopped her, led her into the living room, and said awkwardly: 

— I’m sorry things turned out this way. 

— It’s okay, none of this is your fault. You don’t need to apologize. 

— I know, but still, forgive me, Sophie. I felt awkward and ashamed. In these ten days I never once texted you, called you, or visited you. We can still stay friends despite what happened with Emi, right? 

— I understand you, Mariam. I felt awkward and ashamed too. I could’ve reached out myself. Neither of us is guilty, we just ended up on opposite sides of the barricade. Forgive me, but I really don’t think we’ll be able to stay friends. It’ll be too hard for me. You and Emi are connected by much more now — you live together, spend time together, you’re in the same band… I can’t do it, I’m sorry. 

— It’s okay, my friend, I understand… — Mariam said, tears beginning to gather in her eyes as she tried to hug Sophie with trembling hands. — So this is the last time we’re seeing each other? I’m so sorry everything ended so stupidly… 

— Don’t say “the last time”! What are you talking about? We’ll run into each other somewhere eventually! When I got discharged from the hospital, I rented a new apartment ten minutes from here, near Rustaveli station. 

— I’m happy for you! Someday invite me over to your place. 

— Of course! Maybe in a few years, when everything settles down… 

— Did the breakup with Emi affect you that much? 

— Yes. Very much. 

— You know… — after a long pause, Mariam said, — I really regret that you never became the second vocalist of “ANGELIC KISS.” I remember how in Kazbegi, after we crossed the mountains and warmed ourselves in that little shed, I fell asleep imagining you and Emi together, microphones in your hands. Ah… we’ve lost something forever. 

— Please, let’s not talk about that. My chest aches when I think about it. 

Mariam and Sophie sat on the couch and talked a little longer before parting ways. 

Emi remained in the kitchen, and Mariam walked up to her. 

— Tell me, why don’t you hate me yet? — Emi asked nervously. 

— Hate you? — Mariam repeated in surprise. — What for? 

— You hate Elvin for leaving you. So how am I any better than him? 

“And really,” Mariam thought, “how is she? If I had been in Sophie’s place? Breaking up with your girlfriend over text while she’s lying in a hospital bed really is… No, enough judging Emi! She’s my friend, and that’s what matters. I love her, she’s almost like a second half of me. God, she’s so lost. I just need to help her, be there for her!” 

— I don’t hate Elvin because he left me. People get together and break up, that’s completely normal. We were choosing wedding rings one day, and the next he ran away without explaining anything. Elvin was just throwing dust in my eyes, that’s the problem! At least you and Sophie talked, I hope. I’m not going to interfere in your relationship — you’re my friend, Sophie’s my friend too, though apparently a former one now because of all this, that’s all! 

Emi stayed silent, not knowing what to say. 

— You know, — Mariam continued after a pause, — maybe I really have become colder toward you. What you did was wrong, and I’ll say it out loud, but that doesn’t make you a bad person! You have the brightest soul, Emi! 

Salome sat alone at the last desk in the classroom while the other boys and girls ran through the hallways and staircases, shouting and making noise. She stared thoughtfully out the window: the view fell on a huge bare-branched tree, four stories tall. Water dripped from the roof. The air coming through the slightly opened vent was fresh. 

“This is the last class,” Salome thought. “We’ll be dismissed at two-thirty-five, I’ll walk my sister home, then tell Mom like usual that I have biology club and go see Mariam.” 

The break ended, the children returned to the classroom, followed by Ms. Nana, the biology teacher and homeroom teacher — an old woman with three purple hairs left on her head, always wearing the same rustic flower-patterned dress. 

— Today’s topic is natural selection! — she announced cheerfully. — Its essence is simple: strong organisms adapted to life defeat weak organisms that are not adapted to life. Let’s use examples to make it interesting. Here, at the first desk, I have excellent students, diligent girls. They always know everything, always come neat and well-groomed, dress nicely. What kind of mentality do they have? Strong. They’re prepared for life. And another example: there’s Salome, a good girl, she seems to have everything necessary for survival. But yesterday her mother kept calling me, telling me all sorts of terrible things: she found some strange friend, disappears with her, doesn’t come home, and when I saw that girl myself I was horrified… A girl who dresses and looks like a slut? She lives here on Mtatsminda, I saw her with my own eyes. Is that any way to live? Is that good? Salome, she’s setting a bad example for you. You’ve already relaxed too much — your grades have started slipping these past two weeks! What are you thinking about? You’re already in eighth grade, not little children anymore. You need to understand things, understand consequences! 

Salome sat there red with embarrassment. “God, Nana is disgusting,” she thought. “So Mom already knows everything? I wonder how. Did she see it herself, or did the biology teacher tell her? Whatever, doesn’t matter! If they lock me in the house, I’ll come up with another plan. If they close the hatch I used to sneak out through, then I’ll dig a tunnel outside from that patch beneath the storage room where the ground is damp, and I’ll take a shovel from dad’s garage. Though honestly, it’d probably be easier just to find the keys and steal them.” 

The bell rang, and Salome hurried toward the fourth-grade classroom. 

— Mariko! — Salome shouted to her sister when she saw her sitting alone on a bench with a sad expression. — Sorry, I got held up a little! Did everyone already leave? 

— Yeah. Everyone left already. I’m sitting here alone. 

— Come on, let’s go to the locker room and head home. Want to stop by a store on the way? Mom gave me a little money, I’ll buy something tasty for both of us. 

— Thank you! Thank you! 

— You’re welcome, little sis! 

— And my teacher praised me today! — Mariko said proudly. — Because I solved the math problems faster than anyone else. 

— You’re amazing! The smartest girl ever, and your teacher loves you! 

— Yeah. What about you, Salome? Are you sad again because you’re not grown up yet and Mom and Dad are always scolding you? 

— Things aren’t great… — Salome admitted. — My teacher didn’t praise me today. She embarrassed me in front of the whole class instead. 

— Why? Did you get a bad grade? 

— No. It’s because of my friend, I told you about her already. The biology teacher got weirdly fixated on me because of her, saying Mariam is a bad influence and calling her some nasty names. Why does she even care? Mariam doesn’t even go to our school. She’s just some random person to her. 

— What kind of names? 

— Never mind, you don’t need to know yet, — Salome answered with a grin. — It’s a really rude word. 

— Poor thing. Your parents won’t let you hang out with your friend. Mine don’t forbid me from playing with my friend, but only at school. I can’t visit her house either. I only have one friend. And you don’t have friends at school because you’re different from everyone else, and nobody can or wants to understand you. You only got one friend recently — Mariam. And I really, really like her in the photos! 

— Wow. You said everything so perfectly… Now I almost feel sorry for myself too. 

— Let’s hug really, really tight, — Mariko suggested. 

— Let’s do it! 

Salome hugged her little sister tightly, then took her to a small store where they bought juice and two berry buns. 

As soon as they got home, Salome texted Mariam: 

— hey 
my parents found out your address :( 
we need another place 

— not a problem, — Mariam replied. 
come to me first, then we’ll go down toward Rustaveli, nobody will find us there 

Salome bolted out of the house through the front door, ignoring her father yelling after her: 

— You’re always wandering around! Get back here, little slut! 

Less than five minutes later, she was in Mariam’s tight embrace again. 

— Can you believe this? — Salome said. — My homeroom teacher insulted me at school today just because I talk to you! What an idiot! 

— My girl… — Mariam replied, taking her hand. — Don’t listen to them. They’re old, fake, and miserable. I got humiliated so much back in school too… At fourteen I was still pretty calm, just awkward and strange. At fifteen I started openly rebelling, telling everyone off, running away from home and school, drinking and smoking way too much. The more people pressured me, the more furious I became. Some guy got me drunk once, took my virginity, then abandoned me afterward and spread ugly rumors about me like I’m a slut… Parents forbade their kids from talking to me, and teachers said I’d grow up to be scrubber. Then, in eleventh grade, I quit school myself. I told my grandfather straight to his face: “I’m never coming back here.” You just have to survive it, Salome. It won’t last forever. And while you’re going through it, you’ll always have me. 

— I’m so glad I have you, — Salome said quietly. 

— I’m glad too, sweetheart. More than you can imagine, — Mariam answered. — We’ve known each other for such a short time, but I’ve gotten so attached to you already… You’ve taken a special place in my heart. 

— A place next to Emi and Sophie? That makes me really happy… I truly like being part of your life. 

— Yeah. There’s so much pain tied to those two names now… Sophie came by today. She wanted to pick up her things and say goodbye to us. It’s awful. One loss after another: first Elvin, now Sophie. And Fleya flew off to Germany too. Oh, right, you don’t know who Fleya is. An old friend of mine, though lately we haven’t talked much. 

They walked out onto the avenue. 

— Let’s go to a restaurant, — Mariam suggested. — I’ll pay for you. What’s the point of just wandering around the streets? Honestly, I’d take you to a bar or some club again, but on a Monday morning there’s nothing more interesting than a restaurant, unfortunately. What kind of food do you like? 

Salome remembered Mariam recently saying, “You don’t have to thank me,” so she simply smiled and replied: 

— I like Asian food. 

They ended up in some nearby Thai place. The air smelled of spicy sauces, thick steam rose from a pot of boiled shrimp, the TV was showing the news, and the cook was humming some song under his breath. 

— Not luxury, but it has soul, — Mariam remarked. — Do you like it here? 

— Yeah, actually, — Salome replied. 

They sat down at a table, and soon steaming spicy noodles and rice were brought out. Mariam tried hers and winced. 

— This is unbelievably awful! Though I’m hungry enough to eat it. 

Salome tasted hers next. 

— I think it’s pretty good. 

— As long as you like it. Should we order drinks too? Can you see what they have? 

— Tea, coffee, some cocktails, and cola. 

— I’d rather just have regular cola… So where should we go next? — Mariam asked. — How long are you even allowed to stay out? 

— As long as I want, — Salome assured her. — I’m not supposed to hang out with you at all anyway, and if I’m already breaking the rules, I might as well go all the way! 

— Maybe the movies? 

— I don’t really want to go to the movies, Mariam. When we’re together, I want to talk to you, and during a movie we’d just sit there silently the whole time. 

— Yeah, you’re right. I don’t even like watching movies with people myself… I don’t even know why I suggested it. Oh, I’ve got it! Maybe karaoke instead? 

— Yes, let’s go! — Salome immediately started imagining herself singing as if she were part of ANGELIC KISS, lost in sweet anticipation. — Though honestly, I haven’t sung in forever. I’m not sure I can. But I want to. 

— I am sure. You’ll sound wonderful! 

They approached the building, went downstairs into the basement, and stopped at “Timur’s Karaoke”. 

— By the way, I’ve already been here, right before the trip to Kazbegi, on the very day we left, — Mariam said. — I told you about that trip, didn’t I? 

— Ah, the one where you had the accident? 

— Yes… on one hand, that whole trip was total chaos, but on the other, I sometimes like remembering it. 

The room was occupied. Some couple in love was singing their overly sweet songs. The girls listened for a moment, then walked away. 

— What nonsense they’re singing! — Mariam said with a smirk. 

For some reason everything around Salome felt funny, and she laughed back. 

They walked through the dark evening along Rustaveli Avenue, everything around them glowing with warm yellow lights. They were about to turn up toward the hill and head home. 

— I wonder what time it is? — Mariam asked. 

— I don’t know, — Salome replied, — maybe seven in the evening? 

— No, it was seven when we left the Gallery of Contemporary Art, remember? It was so funny watching all that nonsense! At least an hour must have passed since then. 

— Yeah, probably. What did we do after that? 

— I already don’t remember… Oh, I remember! I showed you our old shop “Marfi” with Sophie, it was an empty space, we sat inside, played ridiculous music, and I told you stories. 

— Oh, now I remember too… Quarter to ten, Mariam! — Salome said, surprised, looking at her watch. 

— Quarter to ten? So we’ve been wandering the streets and laughing together for almost seven hours? 

— It seems so. I don’t even understand how it’s possible to laugh this much… 

— What if we’re actually enchanted and will stay like this forever? 

— Who would have enchanted us? I’ll ask whoever it is to never break the spell! 

— I don’t know, maybe some gods… And maybe now we’ll stay together forever, telling each other silly things and being happy? 

— Look how unusually the Mtatsminda tower is glowing! — Salome said in surprise. — It’s not just red like usual, it’s shimmering in all colors, like there’s a disco up there. 

— Yeah, a disco of lonely mountain hermits. Good thing we’re not lonely mountain hermits! Tomorrow I’ll take you to a bar in the evening, we’ll listen to a performance by a really cool band. 

— Yours? 

— I’m not that self-absorbed, Salome! No, you’ll see! 

— Gladly, as long as my parents don’t kill me right now. 

— They won’t kill you! And if they even try to touch you, I’ll report them to the police and you’ll live with me. 

— Haha, I’ll move from Kote Meskhi 42 to Kote Meskhi 8!