ANGELIC KISS (ENG)

Sophie stood by the stove, frying cheese pancakes and swaying to the music while some hyperpop track played from her phone speakers. 
Emi sat at the table waiting for breakfast. 

— I’m still thinking about yesterday, — she said. — My first time was just incredible. 

— Well, definitely not my first, — Sophie turned around, — but definitely the best one in my life so far. Though with Mariam it was great too, just… kind of awkward. 

— I wonder what that was like… 

Suddenly Emi started imagining it. 

“Shit,” she thought, “why am I picturing Mariam naked so vividly right now? Does that mean I still want her?..” 

Sophie walked over to Emi, gave her a quick kiss on the lips, then returned to the frying pan. 
Fleya entered the kitchen, sleepy, barely awake. 

— Good morning! I think I already know who’s going to hang our LED strip today, — Sophie said playfully, turning toward them. — Emi here is 1,63 meters tall, I’m 1,82 meters, and someone in this room seems to be just a little taller than that. And also happens to have those long flexible arms that are, by the way, very warm, as we found out last night. Right, Fleya? 

Fleya sat there swaying slightly on the chair. She was trying to hold back a smile, glowing, shimmering softly. Sophie decided to tease her even more and kissed her on the lips too. 

— Emi, hopefully you’re not jealous? — Sophie asked. — Tell me if you are, because at this point we practically live like Mayakovsky and the Briks. You’re Russian, you’ll get the reference… Cheese pancakes are ready. 

The three of them sat down at the table and started devouring them with condensed milk and jam, washing everything down with store-bought orange juice. 

— God, today’s the third already, right? — Emi asked anxiously. — We’re leaving for the shoot tomorrow… 

— I remember, don’t worry, — Sophie replied. — Wanna go check on Mariam? 

An hour later they were already at Mariam’s place. 

— Hey, — Mariam greeted them with a sleepy yawn. — Who’s here? Sophie, Emi, Fleya? Mm, cute. 

Elvin sat on his bed wearing headphones and heard nothing. 

— Mariam, did you just wake up? — Sophie asked. — What time are we leaving tomorrow? And from where? 

— Yeah… The bus leaves from Liberty at seven tomorrow. 

— Seven? Seriously? We haven’t woken up before noon in like a week. And it’s already almost two thirty now. 

— That’s how it is, Sophie. Vazha’s an early bird. Loves discipline. 

At those words Elvin took off his headphones and burst out laughing. 

— Yeah, that’s probably why all the junk in his apartment is arranged so neatly. 

— The schedule’s fixed, so wake up at six sharp. We’ll probably have to get up even earlier. I’ll keep calling you until you answer. By the way, Fleya’s coming too, right? 

— She is, — Sophie answered. 

Curled up tightly, Fleya hugged her wings against her stomach just to fit inside the cramped room. 

— So early… — she said. — But I still want to go! It’s gonna be so cool. 

— Guys, — Emi suggested, — since we’re leaving tomorrow, maybe we should all stay here overnight together? It’ll be faster and easier if we go together. Less chance someone oversleeps. 

Mariam agreed. 

— Though we’ll probably come over later in the evening, — Sophie added. — We should rest and pack at home first. Right, Emi? 

Emi nodded. 

— You know what, — Sophie said to Emi and Fleya as they turned uphill toward home, — I’m thinking about dyeing my hair pink. I decided I want to be bright in the new year. What do you think? Would it suit me? 

— Of course, — Emi replied. — It’d look amazing on you, and the color will go perfectly over your blonde. Plus you’ll look like sweet Fleya… By the way, you’ll be on camera tomorrow too, right? I think it’d be cool if you transformed yourself right before it. 

— Yeah, but there’s one downside, Emi. We won’t be two blondes anymore, — Sophie said with a smile. 

— That’s okay! — Emi laughed softly. — We’ll survive somehow. 

Fleya walked down the street with a huge smile on her face. 

“The sun is shining so brightly and I’m so happy!” she thought. “And Sophie wants to look like me too! They really do love me. I remember how Mariam wore fake wings on her birthday — that was like me too. Last night felt so good. I felt so wanted. Emi and Sophie still have all those purple marks, especially between their legs, on their necks and chests, the ones I left with my tongue while licking them. Mariam noticed them today and asked, ‘Where’d those come from?’ and Emi covered them with her hair and said something like, ‘I used some cream on my neck and it turned out bad, it left marks.’ That’s so funny!” 

Emi and Sophie decided to go on something like a date that evening. Fleya stayed at home, and it was the first time she didn’t insist on coming with them. 
“You two are dating,” she said, “so you need some time alone together. I won’t get in your way!” 

They took turns hugging Fleya and stroking her wings, then left and went to a small sushi bar in the city center, where everything was filled with neon lights, green walls reflected Japanese pop music, and a friendly waitress skillfully prepared Asian dishes. They sat down at the bar counter and waited for their order. 

— What kind of sushi do you think Fleya likes? — Sophie asked. — I think we should take something for her to go. 

— She’d probably like Philadelphia rolls, — Emi replied. 

They started eating the rolls and talking at the same time. 

— I wonder what it feels like… to be immortal? — Sophie began. — I was thinking she’s so similar to us, and yet her body’s capabilities never run out. It’s amazing. It’s what millions of people dream about. 

— It’s also what makes her suffer, — Emi said, sipping her bubble tea. 

— Yeah, I get it. But I still can’t really wrap my head around it. For us, the end will come someday, but for someone else it will never come… 

— Gods do die, though very rarely. Fleya said that. So do you believe in heaven and hell? 

— Oh, that’s a complicated topic… Not really, I’d say. Many people think that 99% of people will burn in hell forever, including the unbaptized and even children, and that to go to heaven you need to be a monk or a righteous person. I’m just saying this because interpretations vary. But I believe God loves everyone, and even if a person made many mistakes in life, they’re given a chance to improve. And I don’t think there are any boiling cauldrons. 

— As for me, I used to firmly believe that after death there’s nothing — an endless void with no light, no darkness, no voice, no sight — and I completely rejected other views, thinking they were religious nonsense. But now, as you can see, I’m with you, and I actually like it. I’m becoming more open and accepting of different perspectives, or at least I’m trying. A couple of months ago I read an article claiming that the universe moves in an infinite cycle, and every new repetition is identical to the previous one. So we die and then, without realizing it, live the same life again an infinite number of times. We’ve already lived it an infinite number of times. I can’t fully accept or believe that, but it sounds really interesting. And maybe the point is simply to live this life beautifully. 

— Yeah, that’s a beautiful theory. Maybe it’s even true. Who knows? 

They had already finished eating, but they weren’t in a hurry to leave: the conversation about life slowly turned into a conversation about their plans in life. 

— So… would you want to spend all the time we have together, like that? — Sophie asked gently. 

Emi became very flustered. Her hands started trembling, her fingers fidgeted and tangled, she kept touching her face and hair, and her body broke into a sudden sweat. She couldn’t manage to answer for a long time. If she said “of course,” it would feel like a lie. If she said “I’m not sure,” it would sound like betrayal. “I never even thought about this! But why?!” — flashed through her mind. Emi sat frozen, and Sophie called out to her: 

— Hey, are you okay? 

— Yeah, I’m just really nervous… — Emi answered quietly. — I just need some time. It’s hard for me to say right now. But I love you, that’s… true. 

Sophie looked at her with a downcast expression, placed a hand on her shoulder, and said: 

— Emi… I’m sorry, I didn’t expect you to react like that. 

They asked for the bill and left the cafe. Sophie walked and thought: “That Emi is really strange… One moment she’s bright and gentle, and the next she becomes so scared and closed off, even from a single word or thought. I can literally see her face change in those moments, and I guess it’s because of those thoughts about Mariam… well, understandable.” 

Emi walked silently too, lost in thought: “Sophie is probably upset… or just doesn’t understand something. And maybe I don’t understand either, or I just don’t want to accept something. But I really don’t know if I want to spend all my time with her! And is any of this even serious?..” 

— We were going to stop by the Gallery for paint, right? — Emi broke the silence. 

— Yeah, and then home, we’ll take Fleya and go sleep over at Mariam’s place, that was the plan, right? 

Evening at Elvin’s place. Mariam was taking turns dyeing Sophie’s hair strands. 

— The last time I dyed my hair myself was back in ’21, — she said. — I hope I’m doing this properly. 

— How’s it turning out so far? — Sophie asked. 

— Pretty good so far… It’s pigment, it takes immediately. The result already looks good. 

Elvin, Emi, and Fleya were sitting on the couch. 

— Were you at Vazha’s yesterday? — Emi asked. 

— Yeah, — Mariam replied. 

— And what do you think of him? 

— Vazha is basically our savior! 

— Seriously? 

— I now feel like he’s going to fix all the shit in my life and we’re going to take off… really high. Emi, can you even imagine that this year we’re going to become superstars? 

Emi smiled. 

Sophie washed out the dye and came out to show herself off. Her bright fuchsia hair was now shimmering and shining. 

— So beautiful! It really suits you! — everyone said. 

Fleya liked it the most. 

— Should we put on some music? — Elvin suggested. 

— Yeah, — Mariam agreed, — but not electronic stuff, I’m tired of it. Let’s play our own music. I just realized we almost never actually listen to ourselves, and that’s a shame… Fleya, go to the shop, grab something discreetly! A couple bottles of wine and a cake. Everyone’s in? 

Elvin put on “You’ll Never Be the Same.” 

The friends started cutting pieces from a large berry pie, placing them on plates, and opened the wine. 

— So, shall we drink? — Mariam suggested. — The party isn’t over yet! 

— We have a party every day! — Sophie smirked. — Considering how often we drink. 

— It’s New Year’s, it doesn’t count! 

With alcohol, everyone except Sophie became more cheerful, started dancing and piling onto each other as usual. Later in the night, Emi was so out of it that she spent an hour lying with her head on Mariam’s knees, staring at the ceiling and smiling, fully enjoying it. Only Sophie felt a bit sad, listening to ANGELIC KISS tracks. “It’s so beautiful… but it’s so frustrating that I’m the only one not in the band. Of course there’s Fleya too, but she can’t be in it at all. And I… I could be, but I can’t sing or play anything, even though Emi also never sang before. I’m someone who is always there, but never inside.” 

Mariam didn’t sleep all night. She took body-art paints she had bought in advance, locked herself in the bathroom, and started experimenting. 

She began painting her own body. She came up with ideas on the spot: intertwined burgundy and black roses appeared on her shoulder, a red kiss mark appeared on her chest near the neck. Her lips were painted black, she had messy eyeliner, and two rough crosses under her eyes. She was wearing only a bra and a large metal chain on top. 

— I’ve been looking at myself for four hours straight and I can’t stop, — she said to herself. — My eyes are closing, but I can’t sleep, the mirror is like a drug to me. I’ve jerked off like four times and I still want more, but I need to get ready, I can’t take it anymore… God, I’m so beautiful! I’ll spray some perfume and I’m ready to go. I can’t wait for everyone to see me and admire me! 

At six sharp she entered the room and turned the music on loudly. Everyone was rubbing their tired eyes. Outside it was still dark and cold, and getting up felt unbearable. 

— Why are we up this early… — Sophie groaned. — I’d rather die than wake up at six. 

They quickly wrapped themselves in warm jackets, got ready, and stepped outside. It wasn’t a long walk: after a couple of minutes they reached an old yellow minibus with no number or route sign. Vazha was standing beside it, waving: 

— “ANGELIC,” hey, let’s go, wake up! 

He hugged Mariam, and shook hands firmly with the rest. Soon everyone, including the film crew and a few random, unknown people, got into the van. The ride ahead was long: about two and a quarter hours through mountain roads. Mariam walked in front; people stared at her, but didn’t ask questions—everyone knew something bold was about to be filmed. At the back there were five seats in a row. Emi and Fleya sat in the middle and fell asleep almost immediately, sleeping through the whole ride. Elvin sat by the right window, staring thoughtfully outside. On the left, opposite him, was Mariam, and next to her sat Sophie, listening to music. Vazha was somewhere in front, next to the driver. Everyone else sat quietly too. Halfway through the road, when the bus started shaking more strongly, Sophie took off her headphones and decided to talk: 

— Listen, is this even legal? — she asked. — Filming in a temple while almost naked. 

— Ah, right, you’re religious. Sorry if that bothered you. I just thought it would look powerful. 

— No, the idea is great, don’t get me wrong, I like it. But won’t we get into legal trouble? 

— Vazha handled everything. Besides organizing the shoot himself and even renting out the location for a while—though that part isn’t exactly legal—he also bribed a couple of police officers with large sums of money. Sophie, I’m still shocked that this is our life. He’s so influential, way more powerful than you think. Besides, the Kvetera temple is abandoned and basically just a tourist site, so I doubt we’d get into trouble anyway. 

— Yeah… I still can barely believe all of this. And honestly, I’m scared of that man. Who knows what he’s capable of? If he can give us everything, he can also destroy everything. 

— Don’t worry about it… we don’t really have much to destroy yet. And besides, you know what matters most, right? — Mariam lowered her voice. — Talent. And our artistry. 

— You’re right, Mariam. 

— By the way… sorry, I only recently realized this, but when I closed “Marfi,” I basically left you without a job. I want to offer you a proper place in the band. How about you become a second vocalist? Of course, formally I should tell Emi once she wakes up, but I’m sure she won’t mind. I remember hearing you sing a couple of years ago and I really liked it. Deal? 

Sophie looked at Mariam with a piercing gaze. 

— You… really mean it? — Sophie suddenly smiled. — Thank you, deal of course! Honestly, I’ve always wanted to be part of a band, I just didn’t want to impose. 

— Impose?.. — Mariam laughed softly. — What are you talking about? We’re friends. And I always want the best for my friends! 

Near the end of the drive, when they were about ten minutes away from arrival, Emi was woken by a sudden phone call. It was Tamara. “Why her?” Emi wondered and picked up. 

— Hello. 

— Hello, Emi, — came Tamara’s voice on the other end, trembling and tearful. 

— Are you okay? Did something happen? 

— I’m in a taxi right now. I’m on my way to the airport… My flight to America is in two hours. Goodbye. I loved you so much, you were almost like a daughter to me. Please forgive me, and Sophie, and Mariam, and that young man I spent that cursed New Year’s night with, and that pink goddess—I loved you all. 

— America? What do you mean? Are you leaving the US for good? 

Mariam and Sophie stared at Emi. 

— Yes. I have a flight to New York. My school friend lives there—she’s been in Brighton Beach for thirty years. I’ll be living with her now. If you ever come, and need my address, just ask. 

— That’s… unbelievable — Emi said, unable to find words. 

— The child has been handed back to the biological mother. From now on, you’ll be living there alone. You can stay and transfer rent payments to my card online. 

— Well… good luck. I hope it’s for the best. 

— Bye. I’ve arrived, I can’t talk anymore… goodbye. 

Emi put the phone back in her pocket. Mariam and Sophie exchanged questioning looks. Elvin occasionally glanced at them and quickly understood what had happened, but didn’t really care. Sophie only managed to ask, “What… Tamara is leaving?” when the driver shouted: “We’re here! Get out!” 

9:15 AM. It was already fully daylight outside, with a damp, slippery cold—about 3°C—though everything was covered in snow. The driver left the bus by the roadside, and they had to climb for about fifteen minutes up steep terrain. Finally, in the distance, a section of a massive fortress wall appeared. They moved closer and closer. The entrance to the site, meant for a small number of tourists, was locked with a metal gate and a combination lock. 

— A lock? — Fleya, just waking up, said in surprise. — It’s closed here! 

One of the men in black suits brought by Vazha entered the correct code, let everyone in, and locked it behind them. The team was met by a vast open courtyard surrounded by stone walls. It wasn’t very large, but not cramped either. Snow shimmered on the ground. A few trees stood bare, and above them, crows were calling loudly in the sky. A magnificent 10th-century temple stood in silence, built of pale stone with azure-blue towers. 

“This looks just like our shop!” Sophie noticed. “High vaulted ceilings, small upper windows, columns, rough stone walls… it all reminds me of ‘Marfi,’ except ours was in a basement apartment building and much smaller in scale. Maybe ‘Marfi’ was designed in the Kvetera style?” 

The film crew entered. Instantly it became crowded, and the quiet walls filled with noise. Mariam threw her jacket on the ground and stepped in wearing only a bra. 

— First take. Action! — shouted a man in a hat and beige trench coat holding a professional camera. 

— No, the first shot has to be outside! The temple scene is for the chorus! — someone interrupted. 

Mariam lay down on the clean snow. Her long thick hair tangled and slightly moved in the wind. She was filmed from above, waist-up. She sang the opening lines in a whisper, strained: 

“I wanna pump it in my veins! 
The sound of you whispering my name…” 

Mariam felt a pleasant burning cold in her back and warmth in her chest. She continued repeating her lyrics with calm, almost ecstatic focus: 

“Don’t you wanna confess to me, maybe? 
You can play as you please with me. 
I wanna show you the taste of me, baby. 
Hope to fulfill your fantasies!” 

The operator switched locations, showing Emi and Sophie running hand in hand into the distance. Then Mariam leaned against an ancient wall as the chorus began: 

“Look at me with naked thighs, 
It will be a pure confession 
You just need to get it right: 
Loving is my strongest passion!” 

“Cut!” — the director shouted a couple of hours later, and filming ended. Sweaty Mariam and the exhausted crew headed back to the bus and went home to rest and prepare for the trip to Kazbegi, scheduled for the day after tomorrow.