IV. HEAD THROWING
An awkward pause hung in the air. Mariam pulled her bra back on and said:
— We’re very sorry about this. I promise it won’t happen again.
Elvin nodded with an embarrassed expression.
“Oh no! — Mariam flared up in her thoughts. — This can’t be… I ruined everything! Maybe I should ask Elvin to leave and put everything back the way it was? But Emi probably already hates me! The sex was amazing, but now I feel sick that he’s here!”
“I wonder if Mariam hates me for this ridiculous, childish attachment? — Emi panicked. — Or just…”
Fleya said nothing, only watched, curled up into a ball. And even if she had said something, only Emi would have understood and heard her anyway. Then suddenly Emi said:
— I saw a goddess. She’s right here, in this room.
— Are you okay, Emi? What happened? Can I fix this? — Mariam said pleadingly. — I know a good doctor who works with hallucinations and panic!
— She’s here! She’s right next to us! Her name is Fleya, she’s big and pink!
Emi thought Fleya should touch Mariam and her boyfriend, but she didn’t.
Without much ceremony, Elvin simply said, “Bye, Mariam and Emi… Let’s meet sometime later, yeah,” and left.
— Forgive me, forgive me! — Mariam begged in tears, left alone with Emi. — This is all because of me!
— Yeah… no, it’s okay, — Emi replied timidly. — I understand everything, I’m not angry… not really.
That night Mariam couldn’t fall asleep for a long time. “I love Emi, I love this girl, — she repeated to herself, — left completely without my love. I love her and I don’t need anyone else! I’ll always be with her if she forgives me, stupid me!” Mariam got up and wanted to hug and kiss the sleeping Emi tightly, but saw an empty mattress with a crumpled blanket on it. In panic, she started calling her, but the ringing sounded into the room: the phone had been left at home.
While Mariam lay there tossing and turning, Fleya suggested that Emi go outside to get some air. They went into the garden.
— Want to smoke? — Fleya asked.
Emi nodded, and Fleya scooped up part of a tree crown with her hand and handed her a long lilac-colored pipe with a strong sweet berry scent.
— Nom left this, he’s from Mtatsminda too.
— Who’s Nom? — Emi asked.
— Another god. Lately he’s become kind of gloomy, now he’s gone somewhere and it’s unclear if he’ll come back at all. The last time we met, everything seemed stupid and meaningless to him, he wanted to commit suicide — that is, to split apart. Though he’s still young, only a hundred and fifty years old.
— And what does he look like? Like you?
— No, we’re all different colors. He’s a mix, for example: a gray father and a blue mother — so he turned out with a gradient… By the way, let’s go to a store, I’m getting hungry, — she suddenly cut herself off.
— You? Hungry? You won’t die of hunger anyway, do you even have that need?
— Of course I won’t die, but we still need to eat sometimes, otherwise a strong fatigue will come, and it will last until you eat.
— And how are you going to buy anything if you’re invisible?
— I won’t. There’s no money in our world anyway. I’ll just take it, that’s all. That’s what I usually do. Sometimes people get surprised, like, why is food lying on the counter and then suddenly starting to move and disappear?
Fleya took a tangerine and cherry juice, and together with Emi returned to the garden. Suddenly Mariam ran out of the house, swollen from crying, disheveled, in the first unwashed sweater she could grab, and saw Emi talking to empty space.
— Emi, Emi! — she started shouting, shaking her, when suddenly she too was seized by a piercing heat.
“If I don’t touch her now, Mariam will think Emi has gone crazy and get scared…” Fleya thought.
Mariam froze and for a long time did not pull away from the embrace of the hot goddess.
“Could it really be that this goddess actually exists… — she thought. — Fleya… She reminds me so much of Emi with her warmth and tenderness.”
The morning turned out wonderful: bright sunlight flooded the entire room, a light mountain breeze stirred the dry branches of ripening persimmons, and the quiet chirping of birds that had stayed for the winter could be heard. That day, Vakhtang had gone away for work; Tamara had taken the child to the hospital for an examination.
— Finally, everyone’s gone… — Mariam said with relief. — At least we can have breakfast in the kitchen like normal people.
— By the way, I know how to make pancakes, — said Fleya.
— Oh, perfect! Can you run to the store for some jam? I’ll give you money.
— Thanks, no need!
Fleya flew out of the house and returned shortly after with a pack of strawberry jam in her hands.
— Mmm, delicious! — said Mariam, already eating her third pancake. — Fleya, you’ve got golden hands!
— Yeah, — Emi agreed. — Thank you, it’s really tasty!
Mariam left for work unusually early, with a whole two hours to spare.
— Why are you leaving so early? — Emi asked. — You usually go out around two.
— Need to unload a delivery, and I wanted to grab some coffee too,
— Mariam made up excuses on the spot, — so I’m heading out earlier today. Don’t get bored! Have fun with your new neon friend!
In reality, Mariam was heading to the Old Town, to Elvin.
“I’m so glad Emi has Fleya now! Of course, I feel so ashamed about yesterday, both in front of Emi and Elvin… But I’ll talk to him now, and everything will probably be fine.”
Mariam went in.
— Hi, Elvin. Listen, I wanted to apologize… — Mariam began right away, — for yesterday. I’m sorry it all turned out like that.
— Oh, come on, — Elvin smiled. — It’s fine, don’t apologize. I was honestly scared for Emi myself when she got unwell and started having hallucinations.
— But you know, the goddess actually exists. Yeah, it sounds crazy, but it’s real.
— Oh, you too now! — Elvin smirked. — Goddess, goddess… The only goddess I know is standing right in front of me.
— Oh, you silly boy… — Mariam laughed, kissed him on the lips, and left.
Emi, staying home with Fleya, suggested:
— Maybe we could go for a walk?
— Yes, — Fleya agreed, — but not for long, I have to be on the mountain by two for a head-throwing competition.
— Huh? Head throwing? — Emi asked. — What do you even mean?..
— It’s quite a popular game. When they find the body of a god who committed suicide nearby, they carefully cut off the head and throw it into goals, competing in teams, like football.
— That’s disgusting, — Emi said. — You can’t treat the dead like that, and it must look awful. Are you really going to take part in that?
— You see, human moral norms don’t apply to our society. If someone decides to leave life by their own will, we respect that choice, we don’t grieve or mourn. Besides, this game symbolizes remembrance of the deceased. It’s like they’re still with us, still needed! And the flesh of gods doesn’t deform, so even after impacts and separation from the body, the head looks exactly as it did when alive.
Soon they went outside and headed toward Marjanishvili.
— Let’s go to the store where Mariam works, — Fleya suggested. — I’ve been interested in human fashion for a while.
— Okay… You know, I feel kind of uneasy talking to you outside, Fleya, — Emi said as she walked along the noisy avenue. — What if everyone thinks I’m crazy? No one can see or hear you except me.
— Then just hold a phone to your ear. It’ll look like you’re talking to someone on a call.
They turned into a narrow alley and saw a stall with various exotic fruits.
— Wait! — Fleya shouted. — I want to grab something to eat.
The vendor was an elderly woman in a headscarf, with blackened teeth and a stern but kind expression. Noticing Emi’s Slavic appearance, she said, “Hallo!” Emi wanted to buy two mangoes and treat Fleya to one, but suddenly Fleya grabbed a whole handful of fruit and ran off, and the fruit “flew” through the air. The vendor only had time to shout, “Eh!”
— How did you find me on the mountain that time? Did you decide to touch me yourself, or did I somehow make you?
— Actually, you touched me first, — the goddess replied, smacking her lips over ripe grapes. — But I could have ignored it. You just seemed nice to me. The choice to interact or not, to open up or not, is made by us through thought alone.
By the time it was close to two, they found themselves at the very same store. “Marfi” was just opening at that hour.
— Want to go see her together with me? — Fleya asked.
— I don’t think I should bother her. I’ll probably go, — Emi replied.
— Alright then. Have a good day!
— You’ll come back to me later, right?
— Of course.
They said goodbye, and Fleya flew through the heavy door behind which the shop was located.
— Hi, Fleya, — Mariam turned around and said without much surprise, as if an ordinary customer had just walked in, — you’re early, there are no customers yet, and you’re already here. How did you find me?
— Emi told me you were on this street, — Fleya replied. — What a beautiful house you have here!
Fleya flew around the small building, looking at everything.
— It’s not a house, it’s a basement, — Mariam answered.
— I think we could use some music, — Fleya noticed the record player.
Mariam put on a Evanescence record. “Sweet sacrifice” played, her favourite.
— So, are you here for long? — she asked.
Fleya didn’t answer and slipped away somewhere. She grabbed a sweater from a distant rack and, trying to pull it onto her huge body, almost tore it.
— What are you doing?! — Mariam shouted angrily. — Give it back! That’s mine!
But Fleya wouldn’t stop — she started spinning around the room, waving it in her hands. Suddenly a customer walked in, got scared of the floating sweater, and immediately left.
— With games like that, you belong in kindergarten or whatever you have instead of it, — Mariam concluded. — Why aren’t you with Emi?
— She wanted to go home herself.
Mariam listened to everything she was saying with only one thought: “God, why did this thing have to show up here? And is it really going to live with us now?”
Separated from Fleya, Emi stood at the intersection near a sturdy gray-beige building with a sign that read “Marfi” and wondered what to do next. Only yesterday Fleya had appeared in her life, and it seemed she had already left behind many questions.
“Fleya was almost human, and yet there was something animalistic in her, something wild, something mad. She herself was a chaotic, untamed force that left behind emptiness and a pleasant aftertaste when she disappeared. She went off to play her wild games, promised to come back — but who even knows with her… Can I consider her my new friend? Fleya is a goddess, yet she speaks Russian with me; she constantly steals and gets away with it; she won’t die; she doesn’t obey the rules of society — but she gives care no worse than a human… only not with words, but simply by being there. And fate isn’t stupid… it gave me Fleya exactly at the moment when I was ready to lose Mariam.”
Suddenly, a familiar figure appeared from around the corner. A tall blonde in a leather coat and “Marshall” headphones was coming closer and closer, and then accidentally bumped into Emi, looked at her — and recognized something familiar too.
— Emi! Hi, where are you going?
— Oh… hi, nice to see you, Sophie. I was just walking around and planning to go home. What about you?
— I’m heading to the shop. It’s such nice weather today, by the way. Do you have any plans?
— No… do you want to invite me somewhere?
— That would be nice. Want to stop by Mariam’s? It’s early, I don’t think she’s too busy.
— Maybe we can choose something else? I just stopped by recently and don’t want to bother her again.
— Got it. Let’s go to a cafe. We’ll grab a coffee and sit for a bit.
— So… I loved her… — Emi confessed at the table. — That’s why it hurt so much when Elvin moved in with us.
— Yeah… I understand that better than anyone, — Sophie replied. — A few years ago I felt something very similar. You see, Mariam is that kind of person — a person of energy, someone who stirs up a storm of emotions in anyone. People either love her or hate her.
— You’re right. Once Mariam told me she isn’t the only one for me, that I deserve a girl who loves me and that she’d be happy when I find her. Mariam matters to me, but yes, I have to let go of wanting to be with her as a couple — I have to value her just as a friend. I just don’t want her to live with Elvin in our room, and I think she probably won’t anyway.
Emi sounded completely calm and composed, but in her head flashed the previous evening — how she sat at the edge of the cliff and cried, thinking about Mariam… and there was something else there, something shocking.
“Maybe I should try to tell her?”
— By the way… — Mariam continued. — You’ll probably laugh, but at the top of the mountain I saw some kind of large glowing creature. She spoke to me and called herself a goddess.
— Huh? A goddess? I think I’ve heard a few stories about people seeing beings like that at the market.
Emi and Sophie hugged goodbye and promised to meet again.
“I think,” Emi thought as she stepped outside, “that I clearly like Sophie, and she gives me this slight flutter in my chest.”
Fleya returned home late at night. Emi was hunched over her architectural drawings, while Mariam was just lying on the mattress.
— Let’s go to the sulfur baths, — Fleya suggested, not even bothering with a greeting, — the other gods are gathering there right now, if you’re interested.
— What are you talking about, baths? It’s eleven at night, everything’s been closed for hours, — Mariam objected.
— Let’s go to the Orbeliani baths. I know a back way in.
— Alright then, — Mariam said, putting on her jacket. Emi got dressed too and prepared to leave.
They walked for half an hour to Abanotubani, through the darkness softly lit by shimmering moonlight, until they reached a blue building in Persian style, beside which, of course, there was no one anymore. The district lay along the slopes and was very beautiful: colorful houses, dimmed by the night, stood alongside the many domes of the sulfur baths, each brick radiating warmth into the air; nearby there was a gorge with a fast, fresh stream running through it. There was something about this place — alluring, inviting, soothing with its silence and blissful calm.
— Follow me, — Fleya said, lifting the lid of a rusty hatch, — there’s a passage there.
Behind it was a small underground corridor leading into a luxurious room filled with eastern ornaments, with a large bath of azure water and air thick with sulfur and heavy steam.
Fleya, Emi, and Mariam entered and stopped at the doorway.
— Good Lord! — one of the gods exclaimed in surprise, adjusting his pince-nez. — Those are, for God’s sake, humans! Fleya, who did you bring here?
— “Good Lord”? — Mariam laughed. — What does that even mean? Explain, Fleya!
— That’s Germol, — Fleya introduced him. — He wears a pince-nez, even though gods can’t have vision problems. He chose it over glasses to show off his “old-fashioned” style. He’s an enormous fan of classical Russian literature, always speaking in sayings, and his favorite phrase is “Never in my life have I seen anything more splendid than the Tiflis baths” by Pushkin, whom he actually met in person, by the way. He constantly boasts about it. Next to him is his friend, Aid. What he loves most in life is copying historical documents in his refined calligraphic hand, carefully shaping every curl in the Georgian mkhedruli(an alphabet) script. In those moments when Aid traces inscriptions found in archives, he feels like a formidable king. He’s also into horse riding and imagines himself a commander leading his people to glorious victory. And the third one, to the right, is Nom. I told Emi about him. Amazing that he’s already back! There are a couple more gods and goddesses over there, but they’re not very interesting.
Fleya, Emi, and Mariam first settled into the central bath, where this whole crowd of gods was gathered.
— This is kind of boring, — Fleya admitted. — Maybe we should go to a separate room instead?
The three of them started splashing and playing around like children, and no one even noticed them leaving — except Nom. He would come up to them and then retreat again, trying to introduce himself to Emi, which came out awkward and even a bit unsettling:
— H-hi… — Nom tried to say, but couldn’t manage even that.
In the adjacent room, one of the local “sages” entered — a highly respected figure who had traveled to other planets of the vast galaxy.
— So, Aid? Playing the warrior again? — he addressed him.
— Of course! — Aid replied. — My whole life feels like a battle!
And the “sage,” having returned from an expedition, began to speak:
— Our scientists have recently discovered that the modern gods of the Solar System are only conditionally immortal. It’s just that Earth has an unusually favorable ecosystem.
— What? — Germol was surprised. — Pray tell, who fed you such nonsense?
— I’m telling you, scientists I spoke to. Take note, Germol. The first inhabitants of the Moon are gradually beginning to fall victim to naturally occurring old age. They even have states there, and monetary systems — almost everything like humans. In a place without humans, it’s impossible to remain a faceless observer. On Mars, two divided peoples have been exterminating each other for ages, but without much success — the birth rate is insane.
— So they have an actual war there? — Aid lit up.
— Yes, exactly. A real war. And death already comes at five to six hundred years. Moreover, if the process of evolution continues, even on Earth gods might suddenly begin to age — though for now that’s unlikely. So all you “warriors,” dreamers, philosophers — off to Mars, or better yet, Venus!
From the neighboring pool, Fleya listened carefully to the conversation:
— Interesting… if gods aren’t entirely immortal after all, then I have much more in common with these human girls now?