9
You pushed at Joji, a grimace on your face. You could feel your heart beating so quickly with fear and rage, it rushed through your whole body. Standing there you watched him as he drunkly wobbled towards you. His hand reached up and caressed your cheek. His touch was soft, but you knew it was an excuse to get you in bed. "I care about you. Why can't you care about me?" His eyes flickered to your face and met yours. You were held in his gaze and you swallowed hard, fighting tears. I love him, why though.. He doesn't deserve my love.
"I used to care. Until you stopped caring. From that day on I knew it wouldn't be the same." Your face was stone cold and you gently pushed his hand away from your cheek. Your emotions were everywhere and you were trying so hard to not cry. There was no need for tears.
"I'm not dumb. I know you care about me still, deep down. There's even a slight percent of you that loves me. I can see it, in the way-the way you watch me and act." Joji's eyes flickered from your face to the ground. He took a deep breathe and he stumbled back a bit as he lost some balance, but regained his balance and stood up. "That night I showed up, you could've said no. You could've shut the door in my face, but you invited me in with your love. It's obvious (y/n)." His eyes flickered back up to you and he stumbled closer. The smell of alcohol drifted into your face and you wrinkled your nose. Joji laid a ha d on your shoulder and the other on your cheek again. His hands were warm and inviting.
There you go again, fucking stop that. You took a deep breath and shut your eyes. It was silent and you felt his presence getting stronger and you couldn't handle it. "You're right, I do still love you. But it's not meant to be. If it was we wouldn't be here." You shoved his hands off of you and pushed past him. Grabbing your phone from the coffee table and slipping I the first pair of shoes you saw you stopped in front of the door and looked back at him. "Be gone before I come back." You turned and grabbed the handle.
"If it wasn't meant to be, why do we still have feelings? Why are we still colliding? Think about it." Your body went cold at his words. There was a slight truth, maybe.. His footsteps echoed into your ears as Joji went to the bedroom and he slammed the door. You jumped at the door and rolled your eyes. Rushing out the door, you unlocked your phone.
"Hey, yeah I'm fine. Can I come over? Ok thanks." You hung up the phone and left.
••••••••••••••••••••••
You lightly knocked on the door and waited for a few seconds. Footsteps sounded on the other side and the door swung open. A familiar figure stood in front of you. A smile spread on your lips as your eyes fell on Ian. "Hey, thanks for letting me come over."
"Nah, it's no problem. Come in." Ian stepped aside holding the door while you walked past. It felt weird for you to be here, but you knew being around Joji was no good for you. Plus Ian was the only other person you felt comfortable with. "So what's up? You look.. Emotional." Ian shut the door and followed you to the couch. You had totally forgot that some tears were shed in the way over and you rubbed under your eyes vigorously.
"Well, that's why I came. Joji got rough with me and then confessed his love for me still, and I kinda did too.. It was weird, I don't know how I truly feel about him though." You plopped on the couch and watched Ian sit next to you. His eyes were gentle as he listened to you and it made you feel good. "Plus, my feelings for him may be there still, but I think I have feelings for someone else." Your eyes shifted from him to the wall in a nervous twitch.
Ian pushed back some hair and let out a small sigh, "Well shit. He didn't hurt you did he?" His hand quickly landed on your arm and you shifted your gaze back to him. "Because if he did, I will go find him right now. That's fucked."
"N-no, no. He just, just wanted to get in bed with me and I w ain't having it. Then a weird session of feeling spilling came up." You looked down at Ian's hand as it still sat on your arm. It made butterflies in your stomach go crazy and you rolled your eyes at yourself. Fucking stop.
"Good." Ian gave a small smile. "So, do you have feelings for him still? You need to figure that out first."
"Yes. And for someone else." You felt the nerves running through you. Should I tell Ian it's him? What if he rejects me? Why would he though, we had so much. You rolled your eyes at yourself discreetly.
"Well tell him. See how the other guy feels." He spoke with such confidence and you nodded your head.
Okay Ian Carter, you told me to. "I love you. Still." You shot your eyes back to the wall and stared ahead. You couldn't bring yourself to look at his face or see his reaction. You knew this would end badly, or at least not how you wanted it to. You let out a sigh at the small silence that hung in the room. This is bad.
"I've loved you since the day we met. When Joji introduced us all to you, I was so mad. He's an asshole who has no clue how to handle himself or his emotions." Ian spoke smoothly and you felt your heart skip. Your hand instantly reached for his and you turned to face him.
"What do I do? Wha-what do we do?" A million thoughts ran through your head about Joji finding out or what you and Ian would be. How the two of you would grow relationship wise.
"I don't know, tell him. But.. You need to know how you feel about Joji, where you two stand. I can't get in between that. I don't want to. We've fucked him over once, and this time could be bad." Ian's eyes met yours and you melted. You heard nothing else of what he said. You knew he was talking, his mouth moved so quickly and all his words bounced off you. Nodding your head you acted as if you were listening. He must've picked up on it because he shut up and stared at you.
"What?"
"You're not even listening (y/n)." He sighed and pressed his lips together.
"I'm sorry, I got distracted, thinking." You lied quickly. That's believable.
Ian shook his head and grabbed both your hands. "No you weren't. Why would you stare at me like that if you were thinking? Maybe thinking about me?" He raised his eyebrow and you felt heat race to your cheeks. "Well too bad, that's got to wait. Figure yourself out first." He stroked your hands with his thumb and studied you. You simply nodded and kissed his cheek.
"Thank you. So much." You gave him a soft smile and started to stand until you were yanked back down. You faced Ian and he was smirking. He leaned into you and you both met lips. He tasted so nice, and it was so comfortable. You knew this was what you wanted. You had missed him so much. You pulled back from him and gave a smirk, "Explain."
"Just to help me get extra brownie points." Ian winked quickly, a grin sitting on his lips. You chuckled and leaned back in again, your kiss melting on his lips.
//an\\
this was a bit short but whatever, better than nothing.
please give me feedback and some ideas, where you'd like to see this go.
im having minor writers block ffs