Addiction ❶
From where I live, being a kid gives you as much freedom as an adult. Everyday I can see people as young as nine walking home alone or thirteen year olds trying to break into houses, it was ridiculous. My parents become aware of how dangerous the neighborhood has become, so they never let me go outside alone.
It was nice to know I was safe, but I always felt trapped. Once my mom picked me up from school, I stayed indoors. The only chance there is to go outside is at night. Sometimes on weekdays, I go outside for an hour. All I really do it stay on my porch and watch the tenth graders skate down the street, or kids smoking and spray painting a brick wall. However, it felt nice to watch everyone have fun too. At first I watched from my window, but now that it's the thirteenth time doing this, I feel so much safer.
Yawning I looked over to my watch, it was five minutes till. I was going to miss the loud music from two houses down. My feet stung due to me sitting on them; putting them to sleep. I stretched my arms and took in a final view of my environment. Everything was the same until I saw someone from my school running down the street. It was rare to see another sixth grader out at this time. The night was -from what I've seen- mostly when only the older kids were out. Even the so called "thugs" weren't out on the streets since some teens really do not like when kids are just lurking around their turf. So of course seeing someone around my age, I was surprised. Not in any of the thirteen days I had watched the outdoors, had I ever seen a kid. Only kids doing the same as me and sitting outside on their porch, just instead they would be watching their older sibling or smoking.
Curiously, I looked both ways down the road and ran towards him. And I of course wasn't checking for cars. As I ran to him, I felt a gut feeling. Maybe it was just nervousness, but I wouldn't be surprised since I'm sure no one would like to get caught at night by a dangerous teenager with a knife. From the years I've lived here, that only happened twice. As I was running behind him, I noticed he stopped at the brick wall. The wall was a broken part of an old building that I guess just never fell. Once my school mate stopped and took off this hoodie, I recognized him instantly.
"Hey's Red" I told him. He looked at me shocked, but then calmed down once he saw it was just me. "Hey" he said back, he then sighed heavy. "Also can you tell me when your behind me?" He asked me in a whisper. Apparently, he knew about the teenagers being the only ones out too. "Sorry's" I apologized. I would've told him that I could've scared him nonetheless when I was behind him, but I didn't want to start up an argument. "So what's are you's doing?" I asked him. Red then put his hands on the shoulders and faced me with seriousness in his eyes. "You promise you won't tell anyone?" He asked me sternly. I nodded back just as stern and I planned on keeping my promise. The activity in my neighborhood is bad and I never told anybody about it. Unless it was something serious like a stabbing or shooting, which luckily happened rarely.
Red told me to stay put, so I did as was told and waited for him while he went behind the wall. It was only a matter of seconds until Red came back with a yellow Dollar Store bag full of God knows what. He looked at me and pulled out a can of spray paint. "You want one?"
"No's thanks, I's don't graffitiing" I told him. He just smiled at me and nodded. "So's, what's are you's doing here's so's late?" I asked. It was the whole reason of following him in the first place. "Oh I always go out at night, I just haven't been here before" he said taking off the cap to the spray can. "Why's did you's comes here?" I questioned. "I've been going to the same place for a long time and the police already know I'm going to be there. Well, at least they think I will be there. I just really wanted to do this without police just having to watch me" Red complained rolling his eyes.
Then instead of spraying the wall with spray paint, he started breathing it in; inhaling it. I haven't really met that many people who did this, but I knew it was just as bad as smoking. At least that's what I've heard. But when I looked at Red, he looked so addicted with it, like he couldn't live without it. He had maybe ten cans stuffed into the yellow plastic bag and I wondered how long he's been doing his. Just waiting to inhale the addictive smell.
I couldn't bring myself to stop him. He looked like this was his form of stress relief, but I didn't know if anything bad was really going to happen to Red. His nose filled with the strong scent as he sat and leaned against the cracked wall. His expression was still blank, but I decided to sit with him. He looked so lost and I just couldn't help myself. Then he looked at me for a while and put on a smirk. Despite the overwhelming suffocating smell, it felt nice to finally see someone I know.
Red sadly when back to his unreadable face and placed his head on my shoulder. I could hear his breaths as the heavy smell of paint ceased to exist. My eyes shut, and I began to feel tried. I could have gotten up instantly, but my body refused. The urge to just sit in silence took control. Red's breathing became soothing to me and the silence made me feel as if I could hear his heartbeat.
We sat frozen, until I unfortunately knew for a fact I had to leave. I stood up and noticed Red opening his eyes slowly. It seemed to me that we had similar ideas."I'lls see you's later, goodsnight" I told him. He looked at me with eyes that were beyond understandable. But strangely enough, he smiled a waved goodbye. I smiled knowing at least he took his energy to smile at me and say his farewell. I ran back home in the dark twilight sky, not knowing what could happened to Red. Wanting to see him again.
☆∻∹⋰⋰
It was summer and my family had moved into our new house a year ago. We had already celebrated my seventeenth birthday and I have my own car. The neighborhood was nice and I really loved my new house, but I sometimes find myself going back to my old neighborhood. However, what I usually looked forward to was checking up on Red. He was usually around the same wall he would hang around as a kid, or at his house which wasn't that far form my old house. We would meet up with each other on weekends, but rarely. My parents didn't really feel comfortable on out old street. It was the same as when I was a kid. I would either tell my parents I'm going to Adam's house, walking, or drive by late at night.
It was Friday today and I decided to swing by Red's house and see how he was doing. After school I called my mom and told her I was going for a walk, then headed towards Red's house instead.
Pulling into his driveway, I scanned his house. Red's family never moved out and it didn't seem like they were going to do anything about it. I understand that Red's parents aren't the greatest people in world, but I wish they could at least clean their house. The only thing that was improving was the outside walls. They're in the process of painting it a brighter lit version of the previous color, but Red's sister was taking the responsibility, not the parents.
Hoping I wouldn't talk myself into an awkward situation, I knock on his front door. No one answered for a while but eventually, Red's sister opened the door. "Hi, are you looking for Red?" she asked leaning against the doorway.
"Yeah, is he's here?" "No he left a few minutes ago. He's probably at that stupid wall again" she said either filled with disappointment or annoyance. If I took a guess, it would probably be both.
"Hey, can you do me a favor?" she asked while not particularly looking at me. "Sure's" I respond. I didn't know if she was going to ask me something I wasn't capable of, but I still hoped to keep my promise and help.
"Can you please try to get Red away from that wall and stay home? He's been going there more recently and I think it's really starting to effect him." She looked like she had plenty more to say, but she hadn't wanted to think of what might happen. "Don't worries, I'll bring Red's back"' I responded kindly. "Thank you so much! I've been trying to convince him, but he hasn't been listening to a damn word I've told him!" She sighed with frustration and thanked me again. I was happy to do anything for Red, especially if it was for the better. I was worried for him.
I've been eager to see Red for two weeks, but I hated seeing him at this wall. All he would do is breath in the fumes and sat till he felt satisfied. Seeing Red with headaches and dizziness just made me feel so unbelievable sad.
I parked my car and quickly ran to Red's side. Before he could stupidly inhale another paint fume, I grabbed it from his hand and dropped it on the floor. "Red" was all I could say. He looked at me with the same blank stare, then stared down. Pain stung knowing that be began to be disappointed in himself. "John I'm sorry, I just can't help it" he said still not making eye contact with me. "Red's, it's okay. I's just worries about you's" I told him honestly.
An idea rang in my mind as I looked over to my car. "Hey's, how's about me and you's gets somethings to's eat?" I asked putting my hand on his shoulder. Red sighed heavily before answering. "I guess" he responded shrugging his shoulders. "Well's comes on!" I said happily. I pat Red's back as we walked to my car and I open the passenger side door for him. He looked at me with guilt and changed his expression to a smile. Dang I love when Red smiles. "You do to much for me Barney" he said sitting down. "Only what's best for you" I say to Red before closing his door.