Old friends and college
WARNING SUPER LONG CHAPTER (this chapter will be split in 2 parts)
Ever since that night on the beach things have
been weird between me and everyone, my grandparents can't even have a decent conversation with me without bringing up how I "raised my voice" at them, My dad thinks I want to go to his wedding, Every Time Ray and I see each other it's really awkward, My mother hasn't called me in a week.
I've been awning to apologize to my grandparents, they've been so supportive and calm, sometimes I feel like a selfish brat, I only care about my feelings...
"Gram, Gramps", I said putting my head down.
They both looked up at me saying nothing I'd interrupted gramps newspaper and grams weaving. "I'm sorry, for my behavior o-or whatever, I'm just-- I -- well, Dad's getting married". They both looked up at me. " He's getting married in August, and, they want me to be in the wedding", I said as my eyes started to water a bit. Gram came up to me and gave me a hug, she knew how much it effected my life, I used to have friends, I cheered, My grades were good, I didn't smoke, I didn't dress like this, I was pretty... I used to be happy.
"Susanna, you don't have to do anything, Okay? He can't force you to go", she said as she hugged me.
"I have an obligation! He knows back then I used to do anything for him", I cried out.
"Susanna, we'll talk to your dad, just go eat breakfast", gram said as she shuffled me towards the kitchen.
I went back upstairs and ate some of my baby carrots, I flipped the pages of an almost full diary, it was Lucy's I'd been reading it for a few days, in her diary she talks about her friend Joanne a lot, they were going to the same university. I needed more information about her and I think only one person knew.
I headed down the dirt road, and on to the docks, there was no sign of Ray, "Boo", Ray said as I jumped with fear.
"Did I scare you?", he said laughing.
"Clearly! God.", I said shocked half to death.
"But it was funny right", he said tickling me. "
"Ray stop, I'm not ticklish", I said pushing him off of me.
"Tickle, tickle", he said as he kept tickling me.
"Get off! What is wrong with you are you drunk?", I said fed up.
"Maybe", he said laughing.
"Well you better sober up cause your driving me to the MU", I said dragging him off the floor.
It's funny how people change when they're drunk, my mom used to drink when my dad left she became this type of mom that would hit you for no reason, it was like she was taking her anger out on me.
We went out for hotdogs so he can sober up, it's weird how I've been spending the whole day with practically a stranger.
"What's up with you", he said as he stuffed his mouth with a hot dog.
"Nothing, just finish your hot dog", I said as I kept flipping through Lucy's diary.
"No like, I barely know you, I want to know you", he said with his mouth full.
"No you don't, just finish your hot dog so we can get going", I said still flipping through her diary.
"How can I trust you then?", he said finally finishing his hot dog.
I closed the diary and put it in my bag,"I'm not here to be your friend okay? I'm just here to ask you a couple questions, and you can drive me places"
"What's your favorite color, mine is Red", he said tugging on my hair.
"What are you still drunk? Let me smell your breath", I said as I inched closer to him I felt like any moment I could accidentally kiss him, I inched away and handed him some water.
"I know I'm not drunk, I don't feel the rush anymore", he said as he walked towards the jeep
We drove for miles trying to find MU for the first 30 minutes we drove in complete silence. I turned my head towards the window, looking out beyond the farms and small towns.
"I like your hair", he said.
"Thanks, it's not my natural color", I said turning my head away from the window.
"Oh", he said sounding uninterested. At that moment I really wanted to slap myself. "So why are we going to MU"
"I'm pretty sure you know Joanne", I said turning my head back towards the window.
"Know Joanne? I used to live with her she's my cousin.", he said.
"Well, I need to ask her a couple of questions, for my story/ documentary, I don't know I'm still debating", I said playing with my nails.
We spent another 30 minutes in silence until I finally said something, "I don't want things to be weird between, me and you."
"Things aren't weird, I just don't really know you that well", he said side eyeing me.
"You don't want to get sucked into my drama, Ray, your 18! I'm 16, why would you want to know me?", I said wanting to head butt myself.
"I just want to trust who I'm talking to!", he exclaimed
"So you weren't drunk", I said quietly to myself
"No! I wasn't drunk why do you always assume I'm drunk?", he said getting a bit angry, it was weird just arguing with him it's was like one of those arguments with someone you've know for a while.
"How do I know your not drunk right now!", I said facing him.
His faced looked hurt and shocked, "Well I'm driving you right?"
For the rest of the ride we said nothing to each other we didn't even look in each other's direction.
Once we arrived we walked up to her dorm room, Joanne was beautiful she had long brownish blonde hair and she was tall, she looked like she could be on Beverly Hills 90210, I felt so ugly just being in her presence
"Cousin Ray, what do you want", she said as she had a disgusted look on her face, it's like she knew something I didn't,
"I'm just the ride, talk to her", he said as he pointed to me.
"Hi I'm Lucy's niece and I would like to talk to you about her if you don't mind", I said looking at Ray and back to her.
"Do you work for the police?", she said giving me a dirty look.
"No I'm 16", I said looking at the ground.
"Then don't talk to me", she said slamming the door. I looked at Ray disappointed and started to walk down.
"C'mon she's 16 she needs this! Don't be a insensitive bitch", he said banging on her door.
"Fine! But she can only talk to me for 10 minutes then she's out", she said opening the door wider. At that moment I felt like running into his arms, but that's so unrealistic.