Chapter 11
"How the hell did this happen?"
"Bucky already explained it to you, Tony."
"Well, fucking explain it again!"
"He came about of nowhere. Bucky shot him, but he injected her with something before he got hit." I recognized Steve's calm voice. "He did everything Bruce told him to on the plane, including extracting a bit of whatever he put in her for examination. He says she'll be okay."
I tried to open my eyes, but they felt heavier than lead. After a few difficult moments, I managed to crack them open slightly. I was laying in a hospital bed in what I recognized as the small infirmary unit in Stark Tower. Steve and Tony stood near the foot of it, glaring at each other.
"God," I croaked, "that hurt like a bitch."
Tony rushed to the side of the bed and smiled. "Jesus, Cara, you can't scare me like that."
"Says the one that flies around the city in a deadly tuna can."
"My suits are far more advanced than tuna cans, thank you very much," he teased.
My head pounded like I had a bad hangover, and I rubbed my eyes. "Ugh, how long have I been out?"
"A week," Steve answered quietly.
"A week?! Well, shit, I missed Christmas."
"You didn't miss much," Tony sighed. "It's been very quiet since Bruce came back. He stays alone in his room or in the lab with me. He's avoiding Natasha."
"I'll have to get on that," I smiled slightly. "How long till I can leave?"
"Hold your horses there, Cara," Tony said sternly. "You need to stay in here one more night. We'll see how you're doing tomorrow."
I rolled my eyes. "Alright grandpa Tony. Can you at least bring me some work or something? You know I don't like having nothing to do."
"Fine," he sighed and headed for the door. "I'll be back in a little bit."
I leaned forward to make sure he was gone, then sat back and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from the table next to my bed. Steve furrowed his eyebrows at me as I hid the paper in my lap so he couldn't see what I was scribbling.
12:30 tonight. I need to see you -C
I looked up at Steve and folded it several times. "I need you to do something for me. Can you do that?"
"Depends what it is."
"I need you to take this to Bucky," I slowly handed him the paper. "Do not read it. Do not ask me any questions about it. Don't tell anyone. Please, Steve, just do it."
"Cara-"
"Please, Steve."
He held the paper like it was going to explode and started to leave. But stopped in his tracks and turned back to face me.
"I just want you to know that I know there's something going on with you two," he said quietly. "And it isn't my business, so I'm not going to ask what's going on. But I will tell you one thing."
I swallowed nervously and looked down at my lap.
"Be careful."
"Steve, I-"
"Let me finish, Cara," he stopped me. "If things end badly between you guys, there's gonna be no avoiding it. You'll still have to see each other every day and work together, and I'm not saying you're not capable of that. I'm saying that you need to be prepared for the worst."
"You don't have to worry about me. I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions," I told him sharply.
"I know that, I really do," he said calmly. "I just needed to tell you that. I'll give this to him."
I thanked him quietly and he smiled at me. Steve left and I tossed my head backwards into the pillow. I covered my eyes with my hands and sighed heavily, thinking about how screwed I was if the rest of the team knew what Steve did.
Suddenly, a shooting pain hit my head, and my entire brain felt like it was melting. I cried out loudly and pressed the heels of my palms against my temples, trying to make it stop. I could hear the heart monitor next to me starting to beep faster, and I screwed my eyes shut.
Then as quickly as it began, it ended, and I suddenly felt normal again. My breathing was fast and short, and my limbs felt like jelly.
I took a deep breath and sunk into the bed. "Well that's not good."
****
Late that same night, I lied awake and staring at the ceiling. Tony had stopped by a few times and dropped off some work for me, but I hadn't done on any of it. I didn't tell him about the head situation either, even though I knew I should have. Now, I was waiting to see if Bucky was going to show. If he did, awesome. If he didn't, that meant he either didn't want to see me or Steve didn't give him the note.
I was thinking about the possible outcomes of tonight when I heard the door to my room creak. Bucky slid in and closed the door silently behind him. Immediately, all my stress melted away.
"You came," I whispered.
He came across the room dragged a chair up next to my bed. "Of course."
Bucky took my hand and brushed his lips against my knuckles, making my heart flutter like a teenager when her crush looks at her in calculus class. We sat there silently for a few moments, and I hesitated for a while before breaking the silence.
"Steve knows somethings up."
His eyes met mine and he rubbed the stubble on his face. "He won't tell anyone. Even if he actually knew what we were he wouldn't."
"And what are we Buck?" I asked quietly.
He knit his eyebrows together. "What do you mean?"
"What are we?" I repeated. "What are we doing? Is this just sex? Is it-"
"I think we both know that this is more than just sex," he cut me off.
I didn't respond.
"Well it is. Isn't it?"
"Yes, Bucky I know it is," I said quietly.
"Then what's wrong?"
I retracted my hand from his and picked at the chipped nail polish on my fingers.
"Cara," he muttered, "if you don't want to do this anymore-"
"That's not it," I said somewhat shortly. "Believe me Bucky, that's not it at all."
I could tell he was slowly growing frustrated.
"You've gotta give me something, Cara. I'm not Wanda. I can't just read your mind."
"Because the second we acknowledge that it's more than just sex everything becomes real and everything gets a whole lot scarier," I said quickly. "And when things get real people get hurt."
Bucky stood from his chair and sat on the side of my bed. He put his hand on my cheek and moved some hair out of my eyes.
"Cara," he whispered, "I would never hurt you."
I looked up at him, feeling my eyes growing damp. "I want to believe you."
"I promise," he breathed.
A small cry fell from my lips, and I reached forward and hugged him tightly. My fingers lost themselves in his hair as I sat there, fairly unsure why I was crying into Bucky's shoulder. He started to say something, but was cut off by a sound from the hall. My eyes widened. I knew that if someone caught him in here we would be in trouble. If it was a doctor or nurse, Bucky would be kicked out for violating visiting hours and Tony would most likely be notified. If it was a team member, our cover was blown, and again Tony would probably find out. Before I could say anything, Bucky dove off the opposite side of the bed, dragging a blanket from the foot of the bed with him. He hid behind the bed and under the blanket, his hand still on the bed. I grabbed it and shoved it under my own covers, then laid back and pretended to be asleep.
The door opened quietly, and the nurse that had been taking care of me all day peeked her head inside. I prayed that Bucky was hidden well enough as she entered the room, and tried my very hardest to look calm. After a few long moments, I heard the door open and close again, and I exhaled heavily. I cracked my eyes open and glanced down at Bucky. He grinned up at me, still covered by the blanket.
We didn't say anything, he just squeezed my hand softly. And that was more than enough.