25 ~ Thomas
I freeze as Valerie's small hand reached up, using the pad of her thumb to caress my throbbing cheek, I hold back a flinch.
I was at a lost for words, not because I felt attracted to Valerie, I was just not used to these tender gestures.
I also had grown unaccustomed to the sharp glares that Calum could do so well, causing the moment of excitement turn to one of awkwardness.
"You should clean that up." Valerie says, removing her hand just as fast as she had placed it on my cheek, she must have noticed the change in atmosphere.
I nod my head, taking a step back from the window and turning to leave the room quickly.
My attitude falls as enter my room, my cloths clinging to my skin and black ink dripping onto the once white carpet.
I sigh, irritated at the small black stains, peeling off my cloths and changing into new ones.
Once I was finally dry and clean, I take out the obnoxious contact that was now turning my right eye bloodshot and placing my glasses back on the crook of my nose.
The door opened just as I fell back into my bed, and I close my eyes, hoping that it was anyone but my Dad.
The bed dips slightly. "Hey there, tiger." Mali says softly, placing her hand on my knee in the comforting way that only a older sister can do.
"Hey, Mali." I open my eyes, giving her a small smile.
"I heard you, earlier," she pauses, looking around the room. "That was very...brave." She says, her eyes finally landing on me.
I shrug. "I dunno. I didn't have a choice really. Calum would have gotten murdered and I didn't want him to ruin Valerie's life through the press." I sigh, I didn't feel brave at all. I felt trapped.
Who knows what he would have said about Valerie? He could make some pretty convincing lies...he could make sure she never got a good job or lose all her friends with his rumors.
It was a stupid gamble to say I had a witness, I wasn't thinking. I just wanted to prove him wrong for once, because no matter how much he forces me to get he best possible grades, it's always his way. He's always right in our house.
I didn't even think, I was just acting, the fire inside me was roaring violently. I could have gotten Calum into some serious trouble, and he's in not fit states to defend himself.
I shake my head at myself, whispering "it wasn't brave at all." In fact, it was probably close to selfishness.
"Thomas," Mali says sternly, grabbing my face softly and forcing my to look at her. "That was extremely brave, and it proves just how strong you are! I could never do that."
I roll my eyes, and watch as her face falls. I've never shown so much as a ounce of disrespect, I never roll my eyes.
"It wasn't strong, you...you don't understand." I say, tugging at my hair, a unreasonable frustration filter through me. This is just all to much.
She steps back, her eyes sparking with fresh, unshed tears, and the most hurt look I've ever seen.
"You" she say, her voice cracking. "You have no right to say that I- that I don't understand." Her voice shook with anger and betrayal. I couldn't form the words I wanted to say, all I could do was watch as my big sister, my rock, the one person I look up to in my family, crumble before my eyes.
Mali sniffs, and I know she's trying to hold back her tears. "You don't understand." Her voice grows as the first tear streaks down her flushed cheek. "He's my father too. You don't know what it's like to drop out of collage because you can't focus, all you can think about is how bad your little brothers would get beat. You don't know what it's like to have to sit here see the bruises on your skin like its normal!" She's throws her hands up, gesturing to me face.
"You don't understand what it's like to see the little boys I watched grow fall apart. How do you think it feels to hold in the fact your scared because you don't want your friends or young brothers to know your sad and you have to be strong, for them? You don't know what it's like to be trapped in more than one abusive situations at a time. You don't understand." She yells fiercely, and I feel my own eyes stinging with tears.
I take in a deep breath, the shock of the situation digging a knife in my gut, and slowly twisting with each tear that fell from her eyes. Mali-koa was broken, I never thought I would see this, or I never wanted too.
"I- I didn't mean it." I say, grabbing her arm in a desperate attempt to apologize and stop her from leaving me. She gives me a look, it wasn't a glare like I was expecting, but much worse. She looked as if I had just run over her puppy, before ripping her arm from my shaking hands.
The door rattles in the frame from the force of her slammed exit.
The fire that had roared in my stomach was now burnt out, leaving black soot scattered all thought me, staining me like the black dots on the carpet.
Self anger was coursing through me, growing stronger with each beat of my heart. My eyes were squeezed shut, my finger nails digging into my palms as I stood in the middle of my room trying not to explode.
I would not wish this feeling on anyone, not even Seth. Though I've never experienced the death of a loved one, I'm sure this was close to that.
I've never felt such outrageous anger, and what makes it worse is i'm mad at myself. I don't know what's stronger, the anger or the guilt.
I open my eyes and tears rush to expose themselves against my hot cheeks. The black stains were mocking me, they were a representative of what I felt like. A black stain that ruined the perfect white.
Stumbling from my room and across the hall to the bathroom, I grab the carpet cleaner and a rag.
I fall to knees, poring the cleaner on the floor with shaking hands.
The chemicals sting the small cuts on my palm and burnt my eyes causing my tears to fall at a quicker pace.
I scrubbed as hard as I could, sobs escaping my mouth as the black blemishes stubbornly stuck to the pure white.
My back ached from bending over and my hands were rubbed raw, but I didn't stop. I had to get rid of the splattered blotches.
I let out a scream, all the hatred, sadness, guilt, frustration, it all became to much, and I screamed.
My throat burned as I screeched, throwing the bottle of chemicals across the room, it bursting against the wall.
I rubbed the carpet viciously as the door opened. "It won't come out, it's ruined everything." I scream as Calum pulls the rag from my red and sore hands, his face alarmed.
Tears splattered on my glasses and my hands stung, but nothing compared to the hurt I felt on my heart.
Calum pulled me into a hug, a wordless silence filled the air and my ears rang. I melted unit his embrace, wondering why I had to break down so easy?
I know Mali could probably hear me, but I didn't blame her for staying in her room and not running to my screams.
You never realize what you have until it's gone, I know, you hear it all the time, but it's true. All I wanted was the comfort only Mali can provide, but that wasn't going to happen.
Calum rocks us slowly, I was grateful for his concern, but pushed myself from his arms.
I reassured him that I was alright, turning off the light as he left and collapsing on me bed.
My eyes glued to the spot were I knew there were dark blemishes on the carpet.
The stains that blackened my lungs, making it hard to breath as I fall to deep into my thoughts. The black smear that was slowly ruining me
I just hope I can clean them off in time.
A|N
So this is Thomas' fist big melt down here, what do you think?
Sorry it took a little longer to update, school makes my so tired. I'm exhausted.
Anyways, If you were wondering Mail had an abusive boyfriend, but they are no longer dating. That's why she's never around when The twins & David fight, brings back memories.
If you guys want I might do a short story to show her side of things after this is over..?
Well, love y'all
❤️❤️