And Now
Mariana gazed at her stunned, not knowing how to react. If going for a more confused reaction rather than an angry approach.
She closed her eyes for a second and held her hands out as if to surrender.
"Wait, you did what?"
Callie bit down on the inside of her lip and looked away swiftly.
"Wait when?" Mariana continued becoming more intrigued by the situation. "Before or after your adoption?"
"Before, obviously." Callie snapped back.
Mariana loosened up and looked at her with more emotion. She was so curious of how things had been between the two, they were like an unfinished novel, or a record ending suddenly. They were undefined and incomplete.
Mariana continued to look at her sister and she gently slid off her bed and landed legs crossed on the floor.
Callie looked over to her and she brought her knees to her face and sort of curled up as if she was cold.
"Did you...do you love him?" Mariana asked seriously.
"Well yeah, as a brother."
Mariana smiled gently. "No I mean like, more than a brother like a..."
Callie breathed in deeply as she rested her chin on the tops of her knees.
"I, I did."
Mariana swallowed hard remembering all the hard times she have Brandon over the exact same situation.
"And now?"
Callie shifted her eyes to Mariana and stared into them for a second. Their dark shine almost compelling her to tell the truth. She forced her eyes away as she repositioned herself on the floor.
"It doesn't matter now anyway,"
Callie stood up from the ground.
"But what if it did?"
Mariana followed her up and continued to look at her intensely.
"What if you weren't adopted? What then?"
Mariana was forcing her face into Callie's almost as if she could get something out of her that way.
Callie grew frustrated as she kept looking away when she finally just broke.
"Then yes, yes I love him." Callie replied like her whole soul just drained from her body and she was left exhausted. "Of coarse I love him."
Mariana watched as Callie's eyes became glassy with tears. She felt this pain in her stomach, like knotting or a punch. It was like she had just watched a break up scene in a movie or a death or just a really sad act. Almost as if she was disappointed by the outcome.
Callie sat down on her with her lips parted like there was nothing of her left.
Mariana swallowed back a clump of hurt as tears too began to from in her eyes.
She sat down slowly next to Callie and just looked at her.
Callie let out a breath of air.
"Moms are giving me a choice." Callie began. "I can stay here and be a part of the family or I..."
"Or Brandon." Mariana finished in the same tone.
Callie nodded gently.
"What are you gonna go?"
Callie shook her head and shrugged her shoulders exaggeratedly.
"I don't know."
"What do you wanna do?" Mariana added leaning a little closer to her.
"I need a family" Callie answered desperately.
"But you've already got one." Mariana replied almost like she was reminding her. "You have family, and moms, and brothers, and me."
Mariana exaggerated the me, like it was the most important thing on that list.
Callie smiled gently.
"You've already got everything you've ever needed, right?" Mariana asked politely. "What about the things you want?... The people you want?"
Callie looked over to her as a tear fell down her cheek. She couldn't believe how much she had changed and matured over the years. How Mariana went from this small, insecure young girl who begged for attention to this smart, mature women who didn't take crap from anyone.
"It's too late anyway." Callie concluded as she looked away and wiped her eyes.
"It's just, it's too late."
"Because of Courtney?" Mariana asked.
Callie shook her head gently. "No, not just her."
"But FYI if I had to choose between you and her, I would choose you."
Callie grinned widely. "Thank you."
Mariana smiled back. "And you're like way prettier, some times even pretty than me"
Callie's smile turned into a laugh, a teary amused laugh.
There was a pause then Callie spoke again, more serious and guilty.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?" Mariana frowned. "It's ok, you will have your bad days and I will be prettier."
Callie smiled as she knew she knew what she meant.
Callie turned and wrapped her arms around Mariana tightly.
Mariana held her in her arms and smiled so gently that it was loud.
Brandon sat in his car out the front of the house. He was nervous, why was he so nervous? It was his house, the house he'd lived in since he was six.
He took in a deep breath of air then pushed open the door and climbed out.
Once he stepped onto the porch he felt this sudden rush of no self confidence. He didn't look to great. Messy hair, tired eyes, light stubble across his face and a black and red flannelette that smelt like coffee and detergent.
He ran his fingers through his brown, lightly matted locks like he was about to go on a date or something.
He breathed in again then pushed the door open and walked inside.