Divergent: Christina's point of view

Chapter five!

Dinner continued silently. Our instructor Four disappeared from the table. After dinner Eric leads down a series of hallways without telling us where were going. I already have a bad feeling about him, but to be honest I'm getting a bad feeling about Dauntless. No Christina, you're brave, not honest! you're Dauntless not Candor! I silently remind myself.

Tris is walking silently next to me, come to think of it, we're all silent. No one told us to be silent, but no one talks anyway. Eric stops in front of a wooden door, and folds his arms. We all gather around him.

"For those of you who don't know, my name is Eric," He says. "I am one of five leaders of Dauntless. We take the initiation process here very seriously here, so I volunteered to oversee most of your training." I'm not quiet sure how I fell of Eric looking at me through most of initiation. "Some ground rules," he says. "You have to be in the training room by eight o'clock every day. Training takes place every day from eight to six, with a break for lunch. You are free to do whatever you like after six. You will also get so me time off between each stage of initiation." So far so good, Dauntless sounds great. I smile from joy.

"You are only permitted to leave the compound when accompanied by a Dauntless," Eric adds. "Behind this door is the room where you will be sleeping for the next few weeks. You will notice that there are ten beds and only nine of you. We anticipate d that a higher proportion of you would make it this far." I immediately drop my smile.

"But we started with twelve," I protest. Eric's stare remind me that I have to start to learn how to be quiet. It's bad enough my instructor does not like me, it will be even worse if my leader dislikes me.

"There is always at least one transfer who doesn't make it to t he compound," says Eric, picking at his cuticles. He shrugs. "Anyway, in the first stage of initiation, we keep transfers and Dauntless-born initiates separate, but that doesn't mean you are evaluated separately. At the end of initiation, your rankings will be determined in comparison with the Dauntless-born initiates. And t hey are better than you are already. So I expect-"

"Rankings?" asks the mousy-haired Erudite girl to my right. "Why are we ranked?"

Eric smiles, and in the blue light, his smile looks wicked, like it was cut into his face with a knife. "Your ranking serves two purposes," he says. "The first is that it determines the order in which you will select a job after initiation. There are only a few desirable positions available."

"The second purpose," he says, "is that only the to p ten initiates are made members." Pain stabs my stomach. We all stand still as statues. Forget what I just thought.

"What?" I say aloud, not caring.

"There are eleven Dauntless-born, and nine of you," Eric continues. "Four initiates w ill be cut at the end of stage one. The remainder will be cut after the final test." That means that even if we make it through each stage of initiation, six initiates will not be members." I look at Tris with shock. I stood there flabbergasted, while the words sink in.

"What do we do if we're cut?" Peter says.

"You leave the Dauntless compound," says Eric indifferently, "and live factionless." The mousy-haired girl clamps her hand over her mouth and stifles a sob.

"But that's...not fair!" Molly complains with a terrifying look on her face. "If we had known-"

"Are you saying that if you had known t his before the Choosing Ceremony, you wouldn't have chosen Dauntless?" Eric snaps. "Be cause if that's the case, you should get out now. If you are really one of us, it won't matter to you that you might fail. And if it does, you are a coward." Eric pushes the door to the dormitory open. "You chose us," he says. "Now we have to choose you."

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Every word that Eric said plays in my mind. I need to know the rules perfectly so I don't break any of them. I can't be factionless, who the hell knows what they do! I have to make it through, I have to.

This is the first night in the dorms, and I already regret this. I can't fall asleep, not when everyone is crying. I try to think clearly, but it's hard to do that in a room where everyone is crying all the time. It's their fault they're crying they chose Dauntless, they can't cry over it. I need to think, but the truth was that I really needed to cry.

I get up,and walk outside so quietly that there's no way that any one heard me. I take of few more quiet steps before I start walking normally. I find a place in a corner, too dark so no one could see me. Then i tuck my head in my lap, and cry. I try to be silent, but I'm just so sad. Get over it Christina, if you want to be Dauntless, you have to act like a Dauntless! do Dauntless cry, no! so nither should you." I tell myself.

"Christina," I hear a voice calling to me. Not just any voice, his voice...Will. "Are you okay?" He asks with concern.

"Yeah I'm fine." I say sniffing.

"Where are you?" He asks. I keep quiet for a while, I rub my eyes so that he can't see that I cried, then I get up, and show myself to him so he can know where I am.

"I'm here." I say. He looks me up and down.

"Did you also need a place to get away?" He asks. I nod my head. I pursue my lips trying to keep in another sob. He sees my struggle, and reaches out to me. He quickly pulls his hand back to the side of his arm. "Everything will be okay, I just know it." He says, in a soothing voice.

"How do you know, the odds are so sucky, and I'm not strong enough to fight through it. This is Dauntless, no one knows what they will do." I say.

"Exactly, no one knows. That means that there's a chance that it will also be easy to pass." He says, stepping closer to me. "Statics show that there is a good fifty fifty chance, that they will not do something so crazy, looking back at the History of Dauntle-" He stops, and scratches the back of his head. "Sorry I probably sound like a total Erudite now."

"Pretty much," I say. He looks like he's about to head back. "Why did you leave, anyways?" I ask he turns to me. "Erudite was just not for me, I didn't think it was so bad, but I felt like I just can't sit down, and study anymore. I need to get up, and do something crazy. I already know enough knowledge to last me for a lifetime." He explained. "How about you?" He asks awkwardly.

"I don't think that honesty is the best policy." I said simply. "I also think that I just can't be honest for the rest of my life, there's some stuff I have to keep to myself. Dauntless to me looked, like a dream. You can be honest or lie, however you choose, you're never bored. It was the only, and best suited-for-me, option that there was."

"Hey look you're not crying anymore." Will pointed out.

"I guess not." I said with a smile. Some time passed by.

"I think I'm going to head back to the room." He said.

"Will, can you not tell anyone that I cried." He smiled and nodded.

"Of course." We both walked back to the bunks, and I fell into a dreamless sleep.