My Life - The Book of my Craziness

I said I was a professional slob.

I'm pretty sure a lot of people don't believe me.

Here's the proof... my Global Slob Union (GSU) certification.

"Dear Ms. _____ (censored my real name due to privacy),

It is our honour and privilege to welcome you as a certified member of the prestigious Global Slob Union. You have shown exceptional talent as a slob despite your young age, and the executive group unanimously agreed to certify you. Congratulations on this fine achievement!

Sincerely,
Roy G. Biv, CEO"

Yeah.

I'm certified by the GSU.

All the proof you need.

I AM LEGIT PRO SLOB