AOT Season 1 In A Nutshell Part 1
*Everyone eating dinner*
Eren: ...WEEEEEEEEEELLLLLL I want to throw my life away to join da military!
Karla: EREN! I AM YOUR MOTHER-
Eren: I WANT TO FOLLOW MY DREAMS MOM! MOMS ARE SUPPOSED TO SUPPORT THEIR CHILDREN!
Mikasa: ...
Karla: ...Eren-
Eren: B*tch you can't tell me what to do! *runs away*
Later...
Eren: soooooob~
Mikasa: Are you done having your little temper tantrum?
Eren: Why are you women so mean to me???
Armin: GUYS! WHEN I GROW UP, I WANNA SEE...... WATER.
Eren: ...
Mikasa: ...
Eren: ...Shut up. Nobody cares-
*BOOM*
Colossal Titan: RAWR! I've come to eat your spinal fluids! :D
Eren: ( ;°Д°) Oh..... 💩. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!! THIS BIG NAKED GUY IS BEING MEAN TO ME!
Karla: Go on without me and don't look back or else you will see some 💩 that will traumatize you for the rest of your life!
Eren: Hahahahahahahahaha..... NOPE!
Karla: *Gets picked up by Titan* EREN TURN THE F*CK AROUND!
Eren: Thug life! Imma do what I want-
*CHOMP*
Eren: (°◇°;) ...!
Mikasa: *Looking away* Did you look away-
Eren: YYYYAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGH!!!!
____________________________
Eren: Welp, me mum isn't around anymore, so... IMMA JOIN THE MILITARY-
Mikasa: *Punches Eren*
Eren: ...I swear to god if I didn't know you I would be putting my fist halfway through your breasts.
Mikasa: *Blushes* WHY?!
Eren: Isn't that like the place it hurts most? Like, if you kick a guy in the balls sorta thing-
Armin: Okay we're done here LETS JOIN THE FREAKN' MILITARY!
____________________________
Chardis: Hi guys! I'm your new trainer! *Goes up to Jean* Greetings! What is your name?
Jean: Oh! Well I'm Jea-
Chardis: *Slams head against Jean's* NOBODY CAAAAARRES! Your probably gonna be an irrelevant character that doesn't add to the plot ANYWAY! Thanks for nothing, you piece of horse 💩!
Everybody: .......
Chardis: *Goes up to Connie* Jesus, Hajime Isayama, the hell did you create this retard? Just so horseface McGee could have a little buddy? And that this potato head wouldn't have to keep her Facebook status to SINGLE?! WHAT IS THIS, DRAGONBALL MOTHER FREAKN' Z?!
Sasha: *Eating potato* Hmph?!
Chardis: Anyways, the next three years are gonna be the most 💩-filled years of your life!
*Training montage*
Chardis: Welp, that was a good time skip for three years! Now choose which job you're gonna partake in: Garrison, where you guard the walls and get high. Survey Corpse, (which is blatantly the obvious choice) where you ACTUALLY get to do something productive with your life. And finally, the Military Police, where you serve in the name of our king... While being super freakn' useless. But that is only available to the top ten that consist of this anime's main characters!
Eren: Wait... What's an anime?
Chardis: YOU HEARD NOTHING.
____________________________
Eren: *Standing on top of the wall* HA! SEE MOM?! I'M LIVING THE DREAM! SCREW YOUR LOGIC! I FEEL FREEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Colossal Titan: Heeeeeeeeere's BERTIE!
Everybody: AAAAAAAAAUUUUGHHH!
Eren: Don't panic everyone! We're gonna fight back with all we've got-
Everybody: *Dies*
Eren: OH MY GOSH YOU PEOPLE ARE SO USELESS! *Sigh* Fine! Imma do this... BOSS STYLE!!!!
Armin: No Eren!!!! You have so much to live for!!!!!!
Eren:🖕
Titan: NOM!!
Eren: AAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGHHH!!!
Armin: NUUUUUUUU!!!!!
Titan: *Looks to Armin* RAWR!!!
Armin: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!
Eren: ...Nobody... Eats... My... CINNAMON ROLL!!!!!!! *Pulls Armin from Titan's mouth*
Armin: Eren!
Eren: Armin! I'm sorry!
Armin: F-for what...?!
Eren: I was such a douche to you when we were younger... And I'm so sorry!
Armin: Eren...
Eren: You were... Always my sweet little cinnamon roll! YOU WERE THAT COCONUT THAT BONKED ME ON THE HEAD WHEN I WAS SAD!!!
Armin: ('°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ㅁ°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)
Eren: Armin... I have to confess
something to you...
Armin: W-what is it, Eren?
Eren: ...Remember you wanted to see water when we got outside the walls?
Armin: *Nods* (ノ><)ノ
Eren: ...Armin... That water... It's all salt water.
Armin: ...WHAT.
Eren: Armin...! I'm so sorry! THE SALT HAS FAILED YOU!!!
Armin: NUUUUUU!!!! ALL MY DREEEEAAAMS!!!!
Eren: WHY SALT???!!! WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO US???!!!
Armin: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Eren: NOOOOOOOOO-
*CHOMP*
And everyone died because you can't drink salt water. The end.
Vote and comment for part 2...