Rant Blah Blah
I'm.... Troubled.
I better start with basics. Neither of my parents work very creative or 'out there' jobs... My dads a software engineer working in an office and my mums a worker at a supermarket picking out their orders for delivery.
And now about myself and my situation...
So I'm at the point where I'm going to finish my GCSEs in the summer and then move onto A Levels/IB. Being an artsy and creative person I want to do jobs which have an objective standpoint to them. I'm never one for liking facts. I find it annoying to remember them and most facts I don't think I'll need in the direction I want to go in.
Anyways we get either three subjects in A levels or six subjects in IB. I've said I've wanted to put art into my pieces and for any universities for art courses I have to have studied art. And get several GCSEs but I haven't seen much else that's needed. So I told my parents I wanted to do Art, Drama and English or Media Studies...
Then they discouraged me...
Saying I needed more academic subjects and such.
Even more so this evening I heard my dad talking about my younger brother and behind my back about me and how he's doubtful about me and my future in art. He was speaking about my brother as he's clever in everything, where he gets As a lot of the time and... Me... He says 'oh yeah she's good at art and English' in the way where it doesn't sound like he's impressed, he doesn't sound happy with it. IM SORRY IF I CANT FUCKING BE SMART LIKE MY LITTLE BROTHER, IM SORRY IM NOT LIKE MY TWO SIBLINGS WHO EXCEL IN SOMETHING THAT YOU ACTUALLY FUCKING VALUE BUT WHEN WILL YOU FUCKING REALISE I DONT WANT TO SIT IN A FUCKING OFFICE MY WHOLE LIFE DOING A HORRIBLE JOB AROUND ENGLISH AND MATHS WHICH I WOULD HATE! ID FEEL HAPPIER IF I GOT TO DO WHAT I WANTED TO DO!
I'm sorry I'm not like how you want me to be. But I don't know how to change what I want or who I am, how I act or what I have done.
I just want to live free from your judgement.
Because quite frankly I'm sick of it...