Chapter 9: the moment i knew
"Hello?" Taylor asked.
I snuck back down to the kitchen to eavesdrop on Taylor's conversation.
"Ok thank you. "
Taylor seems sad.
"Taylor?" I asked.
"Hayden, I have to tell you something."
"What?!" I asked smiling.
Maybe I get to live with Taylor longer! That would be so amazingly awesome!
"Your parents got into a car crash. They died. I'm sorry. "
Taylor pulled me into a hug.
"NO!" I screamed.
"I just talked to my mom!"
"Hayden, I'm sorry."
"What am I supposed to do now?" I whispered.
" you will stay with me until we figure that out. "
"What about my cat? She's at home all alone now!"
"We will get her! Don't worry! Ed is in Florida right now, I'll tell him your address and tell him to get your cat. "
Taylor just doesn't understand.
"I want to go get Alison myself. And so I can pack up the rest of my things I may need."
"Ok. Do you want to leave tomorrow morning?" Taylor asked.
I nodded my head.
How could this happen?! I just was talking to mom less than an hour ago! I have nobody now. Nobody except Alison. But she's not even human. I ran to my room and cried. Where am I going to go? I don't want Taylor to have to look after me! All I will be is a distraction in her career. I don't want that to happen. Taylor needs to keep making music. She has too. I can't distract her. It's not right. I'll have to go to a foster home or something. Or an orphanage. Only 3 years until I'm 18 and I can start my own life and family. It won't be that bad I hope. I went back downstairs.
"Taylor, I don't need you to look after me. I don't want you to be distracted from your career. You can put me in the foster care system. I'll only have to be there for 3 years." I said.
"Hayden! Absolutely not! I will not put you into the system! You won't distract me from my career! And you will stay with me. You have no choice. "
"Why won't I have a choice?"
"What if I adopt you?"
I tried to hide a smile.
"I wouldn't object. But you can't adopt me. "
"Why can't I?" Taylor asked.
"I don't want to distract you. Your fans need you. "
"But aren't you a fan?"
"Yeah. So?"
"Your a fan and you need me."
"Fine."
I went back up to my room.
I haven't done this since I was 12. I never thought I'd ever do this again. I only did it in the first place because of my parents always forgetting about me. Now I'm doing it because they died. I went to my bathroom and opened a drawer. I pulled out my old razor. I sat in the bathtub and pulled the blade across my bare skin. The blood is seeping through already. I promised my parents I would never cut again if they let me get my scars removed. But they said only while they are alive. So technically I'm not breaking any promises. They're dead. Forever. After a few cuts I washed off all the blood and put a bandage on all of them.
"Hayden?" Taylor asked.
"Yeah?"
"Can you please come out?"
I opened the door. Taylor is standing there. I put on a sweatshirt to cover my bandages. It's not even cold though.
"We leave tonight at 11 so we can be at your house in the morning. We will stay for 3 days. So you need to pack."
"Ok. "
Taylor left the room. I pulled out my bag and put in a few pairs of clothes and everything else I need. It's only 7:00 pm. I dragged my bag downstairs and left it by the door.
"What do you want for dinner?" Taylor asked.
"I'm not hungry." I replied.
"Hayden, I know your upset but you still have to eat."
"Fine. Grilled cheese. "
I didn't even say please this time. I'm broken again. I thought I was healed. But now I'm back to where I started. Alone and afraid. I don't have anybody to go home to. Well, a human to go home to. Just my cat, Alison. The only family I have left. The only one.