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For 17 years of my life i wasn't true to who i am, i was living a lie every single day. I was pleasing people in order to be accepted, understood and liked. I was hiding my real self so people would be friends with me. For 17 years of my life people have told me how and what I should say, how should i act, what should i wear, how to introduce myself and the list goes on. For 17 years of my life people have told me to always lie to other people about how am i doing, who i want to be in this life, what's my path, what's my goal. For 17 years of my life people have told me that my dreams are stupid, my goals are just goals and soon i will realize that. But day by day the only thing i realize is that i am simply not myself; i am living a lie and i am lying mostly to myself. Because i don't want to be the person people want me to be. I don't want to live like everyone else; i don't want to waste my life. Because yes, i am that crazy human being who's madly in love with life, who wants to explore every corner of this world, who wants to visit every place and meet new people. For 17 years of my life people have told me that i shouldn't disappoint everyone, and if i did something wrong, they would usually say i could have done better, i should've done better. I'm tired.
I've come to conclusion that no matter what you do in your life, no matter what path you're choosing for yourself - people will still judge you all the way through it, people will still tell you that you're making the biggest mistake of your life going after the things you want. But if that's what you truly believe in, if you really want it, if that's your whole life and means the whole damn world to do - does it matter what others say? One last time i apologize to those i have disappointed, whose expectations i didn't live up to - i truly don't care anymore.